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Sandra Bullock, Jesse James

Paul Drinkwater/NBCU Photo Bank via AP Images

Sandra Bullock is reportedly going to spend Christmas with Jesse James and his kids. According to In Touch magazine, she wants to maintain a relationship with his children and she really wants her new black nugget Louis to know Jesse and his family. This just proves how much of a better person Sandra Bullock is than the rest of us. I haven't met a kid that would make me want to hang out with a guy who cheated on me with a girl covered in tattoos that looks like she eats three square meals of sperm and cigarettes a day. And Louis doesn't need to know Jesse James...nobody does. If Sandra really wants him to know a father, I'm happy to hand over mine. They have a ton in common; they both were once held by a black woman and neither of them can get through a day without wetting themselves.