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Mariah Carey, Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears

Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage.com; INFdaily.com; Fame Pictures

Star magazine did a story on Hollywood housekeepers "telling all."  The article claimed to reveal some "exclusive secrets" that would leave the reader shocked. Obviously I was excited to find out some jaw-dropping information. 

Right after I called my housekeeper and gave her a sweet raise, I settled down to read the article.  Apparently, Jay-Z and Beyoncé are "demanding."  No kidding.  Mariah Carey wanders around tipsy.  Still waiting for a surprise.  Jennifer Aniston likes to walk around in a bikini.  Oh, that must be horrible for the cleaning lady. You'd have to force clothes on me if I looked like that. 

I was getting pretty frustrated, but then I stumbled upon something that threw me for a loopty-loop.  Britney Spears' former maid claims she once pulled a half-eaten burger from under the pop star's bed.  Look under my bed and try to find a plate with anything but crumbs.  At least Britney knows when enough is enough.  Star magazine: 1, Chelsea Lately: 0.