Make way for Mindy Kaling.
Not only does season 4 of the 36-year-old star's hit series The Mindy Project premiere on Hulu today, but her new book, Why Not Me? also debuts.
The memoir, which is already garnering rave reviews, tells the TV star's "ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life," according to the book description, but of course, since this is Kaling, her adult life is filled with hilarious moments—and nothing is off limits.
From her "weird" relationship with B.J. Novak to getting drunk at the White House Correspondents dinner to her love for Kim Kardashian, here are the 10 best revelations from Mindy's new tell-all.
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1. Reese Witherspoon Once Told Her Not to Frown: "About a year ago, I had lunch with Reese Witherspoon in Brentwood," she writes (naturally, there is also an asterisk with a footnote at the bottom that reads "jealous, haters?"). "When we walked out to the car, a couple of photographers were waiting to take her photo. She whispered to me, ‘Smile.' 'Why?' I asked. 'We're just walking out to our cars.' Reese responded 'No one who sees a photograph of us wants to see that we are anything other than totally happy all the time.'"
2. She Loves Filming Sex Scenes: "There must be lots of other actors who love doing sex scenes too, right? Wrong. If you interview any actor about having to do sex scenes, you always the same answer: they 'hate' doing them. I am here to tell you they are all lying. Every last one of ‘em. Obviously on-screen sex is not actual penetrative sex, but as any religious high-schooler will tell you, simulating sex can be pretty damn enjoyable as well."
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3. She's Learned a Lot from Kim Kardashian: "The most valuable thing I learned from Kim Kardashian is that your arm must never lie flat against your body…I remember hearing her say that when you put your hand on your hip, it makes your arm look thinner and draws attention to your waist. I tried it and I loved it! So I started doing it whenever I was getting my picture taken."
4. She Was Proud the Day The Mindy Project Was Cancelled: "The day we were canceled, I received hundreds of texts and emails and The Mindy Project trended on Twitter. I have never been prouder of the show. We also received calls from other outlets that were interested in buying it. One was from the streaming platform Hulu…Hulu was attracting better talent than the networks were, and when I met the president, Craig Erwich, he loved the show and wanted it to help establish their brand. Most important, though, he was good looking. A week later, the deal was announced that Hulu had picked up The Mindy Project for season 4, for twenty-six episodes. I'd gone from barley having time to transition from my panic of not having a job to the panic of more work than I'd ever had."
5. She's Different Than Her Mindy Project Character, Mindy Lahiri, But There Are a Lot of Similarities: Kaling lists the "things Mindy Lahiri and I would both do." Our favorites include, "graze at the Whole Foods hot foods bar and get reprimanded, then claim racism," "go on a dangerous juice cleanse," "say 'whoa' when we see a hot guy and "say 'whoa' when we see a hot pizza."
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6. She Almost Bailed on Announcing the 2014 Emmy Nominations When She Discovered She Wasn't Nominated: "An even worse feeling quickly eclipsed my disappointment. I realized: Oh, no. Now I have to stand here on a stage in goddamn North Hollywood and announce these other people while everyone sees me not get nominated…I battled two instincts: 1) To bail on the whole event…which would cause a massive PR disaster, and I would be considered a 'Charlie Sheen' type problematic personality from now on or, 2) To stay classy and be gracious so people would continue to think I'm professional and classy. Instinct number 2 won out. But not by much."
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7. She Knows Her Relationship With B.J. Novak Isn't Normal: "I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. is weird as hell. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not exactly my best friend. The best way I would describe him is that he is my ex-husband, and we have a son who is away at boarding school, so our fighting can never get that bad because it would upset our child. I don't think Facebook would accept that as a new status. They would just categorize it as 'it's complicated.'"
8. She Calls B.J. Novak Her Soulmate: "When she [Mindy's mother] got sick, B.J. came to Boston to visit her in the hospital, and he did something I will always be profoundly grateful for…he made her laugh. And that is why B.J. are soul mates, and the reason is….because of the soul we like to…That doesn't make any sense. We're soup snakes. B.J. and I are soup snakes" (Earlier, she explains, "this term comes from a season 7 episode of The Office where Michael Scott is reunited with his ex-girlfriend Holly and is pretending he doesn't have feelings for her anymore").
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9. She (Hilariously) Knows What She Wants In a Man: "I just want a boyfriend who is sweet and trustworthy…a sweet, mature, normal, loving guy, with no baggage. And who has an absolutely enormous penis."
10. She Got Drunk at the White House Correspondents Dinner and Had an Awkward Encounter With Bradley Cooper: "I saw John Kerry talking to Bradley Cooper. I'm from Massachusetts and I'm friends with Ed Helms, so I figured I had hit the conversational jackpot with these two. I was drunk and feeling a little important, so I wandered over and interrupted them. 'Hi! I'm Mindy Kaling. I'm from Massachusetts. Ed Helms was in The Hangover and was also on my old show, The Office' I said cockily…'Yes,' Bradley responded. 'I know Ed.' I would give our interaction a solid B-minus."