Before Donald Trump decided to become a one-man circus, he was just the host of The Celebrity Apprentice and we only had to see him once a week. Now, he's everywhere. Except for The Celebrity Apprentice, because NBC cut ties with Trump after he made several derogatory remarks about immigrants during a campaign speech.
His firing was ironic, considering his iconic catchphrase from The Celebrity Apprentice was "you're fired!" But now that Arnold Schwarzenegger will take over for Donald in the boardroom, he can't really use that line because it belongs to the Donald. And also, it's tainted.
But don't worry! We wrote some catchphrases for Arnold to use that are so much cooler than just "you're fired!"
Mostly we took Arnold's famous movies lines and put terrible spins on them. Arnold, if you use any of these on The Celebrity Apprentice, we expect 79% of your salary. Doesn't that seem fair? We'll have our people call your people.
Here are the 16 completely serious, not-at-all-cheesy-or-ridiculous catchphrases we wrote up for Ahhhhnold for his big debut:
1. "You've been erased!"
2. "I'll be back…next week. But you won't be. Because you're fired."
3. "You're expendable!"
4. "Hasta la vista…is a line from one of my movies. You can go watch that movie right now, because you're fired."
5. "See you are the party…your unemployment party, that is!"
6. "You're not a tumor…but you are fired!"
7. "I eat terrible employees for breakfast, and right now, I'm very hungry."
8. "I'm the party pooper…and the party is over!"
9. "Are you Sarah Conner? No? Well, she was who I wanted to hire so…you're fired."
10. "If it bleeds, we can hire it. Except for you, because you're terrible."
11. "It's Turbo Time! And then it's Firing Time!"
12. "Get to the chopper…so we can escort you off this show."
13. "Here's a true lie…you're hired! See what I did there? Seriously, you're fired."
14. "What killed your career? The ice age! And also I did."
15. "The pavement was your enemy…if the pavement was responsible for getting you hired."
16. "Your clothes…give them to me. Now! You won't need this business casual suit anymore. Because you're off the show."
Yeah, some of these need work but we promise to fine-tune it in time for the premiere of the new season of The Celebrity Apprentice.