Bitch-Back! Fangalicious Twilight Edition!

Our inbox was flooded only with questions about your favorite vampire cast

Dear Ted:
I'm a big fan of yours and of the A.T., but I'm a little confused about something. You've called Robsten the "real deal." You've also said Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were laid-back and casual about their relationship. It's obvious to me that they're into each other, but I want you (to the best of your abilities) to clear this up for your loyal and loving readers. Are they in a monogamous relationship, or are they just hooking up when it's convenient? Please post this question. People wanna know!
—Bubbly

Dear Too Much Champagne:
Are you kidding? Don't think road tripping to New Orleans or flying to Canada is a hookup out of convenience. Or remember when Stewart extended her trip in London after the BAFTAs and hung around New York while Rob did press for Remember Me? Don't see anything convenient about that relationship. Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift they are not.

Dear Ted:
Can Ashley Greene try any harder? She was seen out last week wearing one of Joe Jonas' shirts. Is all this sweet and gooey innocence for real, or is she trying to be K.Stew the second? My rescue pup Zeke, thinks the latter.
—M

Dear Fame Game:
A little harsh, M! No way, Ashley has a whole different media approach than Kristen. That is not to say Ash is innocent. She knows exactly what she's doing with Joe.

Dear Ted:
Hey, Teddy bear, you have always said that Nikki Reed was the hottest of the Twilight ladies. But don't you think that after seeing Ashley with her real hair and glammed up that she might be wearing that crown?
—Gorilla

Dear Pick Your Poison:
I'd say Ashley is a tie for sexiest of them all. Although gotta say, with the ballsier flicks Kristen's delivering, she's close behind. That woman's fearless—which is always a great turn-on.

Dear Ted:
In her new video, Miley Cyrus spoke out against the paparazzi saying she doesn't like to be followed and that it upsets her. People were commending her for taking a stand and not being one of those people who likes having their picture taken. Yet when Kristen Stewart says bad stuff about the paparazzi and how she doesn't like to be followed, people tell her she should get out of the business if she doesn't like the attention. How can these two be saying the same thing, yet Kristen is the one getting all the crap for it?
—Confused

Dear It's Simple:
The Robert Pattinson factor. Fans will criticize because they still don't think Stewart is good enough for him and too "negative." I mean, Liam Hemsworth is hot and all, but he's nowhere near the star power (or stalker power) of R.Pattz. Also, Miley loves the attention; Kristen doesn't. You'll still see Cyrus throwing up peace signs and chatting with the media occasionally whereas Stewart is much more aloof.

Dear Ted:
Now that everyone knows that Robsten are a committed couple, do you think Summit will relax and let them live together while they are filming Breaking Dawn? It seems a waste of money to rent two homes when only one will be used, right?
—Rug

Dear Honeymoon Phase:
Rob and Kristen love hanging together, this we know, but they are also very much about their space. Expect different rooms to unwind in, but we're sure they'll mostly be shacking up!

Dear Ted:
I just read that Kristen and Rob are currently filming "the honeymoon" scenes for Breaking Dawn in South America. Is this true? I know you're the only one who can give me the real scoop on our beloved Robsten.
—Curious Canuck

Dear False:
Sorry babe, as fun as that sounds, Kristen is still finishing up her duties for On the Road.

Dear Ted:
I'm a little confused over a statement you made recently concerning Twyla Babe Sucker. Assuming Kristen Stewart is TBS, as we all do, trust, are you now saying "Robsten" is not exclusive? Because saying TBS "likes to play the field" would put that in one's mind. Are R and K just into one another, or are their costars now and maybe have always been fair game?
—One fire light

Dear Nice Try:
If I answer your question, then am I saying Kristen is Twyla?

Dear Ted:
Looks like Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene are getting serious. Will this relationship last until they get married or will they break up?
—B

Dear Death Do Us Part:
Relationship last? Ha! Thanks, B, I needed that laugh.