Bitch-Back! Are Penn and Blake for Keeps?

Readers respond to the Gossip Girl couple, Nicole Kidman's wrongdoing, as well as mine!

Dear Ted:
I think Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are very cute, but I must ask, are they the real deal, or is it for show?
—Mobey

Dear Yawn:
The boringass romance is real. Now wake me up when they do something halfway interesting. Sure are great-looking though, just don't have the heat to go with it, unfortunately.

Dear Ted:
That was very big of you to admit the fault of your Nicole Kidman Morning Piss. I definitely agree it is a bit hypocritical of her to not address the incident, but I hardly think paparazzi being attacked is equal to a woman experiencing the atrocities that go on around the world. I'm sure that photographer would be more than happy to be roughed up again as opposed to seeing, say, a young girl having her clitoris cut off.
—Susan

 

Dear Hate Crime:
Hey, if I can admit my wrongs, can't Kidman? 

Dear Ted:
I was watching The Tudors the other day and got to wondering if Jonathan Rhys Meyers was ever a B.V.? He seems like he definitely would have been one.
—Jen

Dear Hello:
You nuts? He's a friggin' regular—outta control!

Dear Ted:
Just saw pictures of Ben Affleck and Jen Garner looking all lovey-dovey on the set of his movie. What's up with that if they are going to break up? Also are Tim McGraw and Faith Hill the real deal?
—Angie

Dear Ms. Jolie:
Stop trying to get attention off the man you're so obviously going to dump in a matter of secs. It isn't nice.

Dear Ted:
Why do Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling keep breaking up? Besides her relationship with Josh Lucas, it seems that neither of them has been in another serious relationship since they first got together. They seem so right together. What gives? Any inside knowledge on what the problem is?
—Erin

Dear McGosling:
These two cuties are too busy and focused on their careers. That's why they keep reuniting when they find the time. Certainly puts less pressure on a romance than forcing yourself to remain in a monogamous relaysh when you don't see each other for months at a time.

Dear Ted:
Miley Cyrus' personal cell phone was hacked, which is how those pics leaked. That incident was also more than a year ago—time to move on. And don't hate on Miley because she's more successful than you will ever be.
—Scarlett

Dear Bitter Betty:
True, I may never have a career as a teen Disney princess, sadly, but I'd like to see Miley excel at what I do. And li'l M.C. shouldn't be taking those pics on her phone in the first place. Always assume every naughty photo you take of yourself will be blasted all over the world.

Dear Ted:
Can you tell me anything juicy about Chris Evans? He is superhot! But he doesn't seem to be doing too much these days. I know you are definitely the person to ask when it comes to the good stuff. Thank you!
—A.R.

Dear Great Taste:
Nothing that I can print.

Dear Ted:
With all the attention your Blind Vices get, who would you say would be the most shocking revelation? What public persona is vastly and most unexpectedly different from their private (nasty/twisted/bizarre/gross, fill-in-the-blank) persona? The one where we'd go "Didn't see that one coming." Much love to your dogs.
—Vikings 

Dear Good Question:
So many to choose from! Sheila Slurp-Never would definitely have people giving a certain babe a second, more suspicious look, and not just because of her actions we sassed about in her Blind Vice. There are more salacious doings where that came from.

Dear Ted:
I have been reading reports about Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler getting' together. This seems completely out of left field. What's up with this unlikely duo?
—L.A.

Dear Easy:
Press for Jess, nothing more, nothing less. Hey, that rhymed!

Dear Ted:
Anything more on Julie Benz? Loved the picture, oh, the magic of Hollywood to make her look boring on Dexter when she is clearly hot, hot, hot. Thanks for being your usual entertaining self (even if you have to issue an occasional mea culpa—your misstep on the Nicole Kidman criticism).
—Lkar 

Dear Benz Babe:
Julie is totally doable—tho last I spoke to, her she complained that she's not exactly lucky in love. How come none of her hot (and single) costars have grabbed her up yet? No one wants to follow Michael C. Hall's lead and hump where ya work?

Dear Ted:
Of course Nicole Kidman will never say anything against her bodyguards, but I personally think she's already gotten her karmic payback—her face is just ruined. She's made herself unwatchable, à la Meg Ryan. No, it doesn't make her actions right, but it seems that she's lost one of the things that she valued the most.
—Triple 

Dear Pout Patrol:
Gotta wonder what Meg's done to deserve such horrific facial contortions. Or do we already know?