Bitch-Back! Carrie and Sienna Suck

Carrie Prejean’s a be-yotch, but there’s a little more Kristen Stewart love

Dear Ted:
I appreciate your kindness, candor and your humanity. Your grammar, sarcasm, monikers, etc. do nothing to detract from that. You take the right things seriously, and I enjoy your tongue-in-cheek view of everything else. I read with dismay the accounts of Carrie Prejean and Heidi Pratt and what they do in the name of Jesus. You and I stand on opposite sides of the gay-marriage issue, but that in no way makes me see you (or anybody) as a lesser person. This is a divisive subject that has no easy resolution, but it makes my heart ache to see how easily venom spews from the side that is supposedly based on Christian values. I know you know not all Christians are painted with the same brush, but I wanted you to know that you are valued as a person by many of them! As for Robsten, thanks for reminding people that this is a couple of young people. I don't know why Kristen Stewart gets so much negative press. I have nothing but admiration for her, since long before Twilight.
—TLF4Him

Dear Open-Minded:
Thanks much, and let's work together to make the world a better place, shall we?

Dear Ted:
Did you forget that when Sienna Miller met Jude Law, he was still married to Sadie Frost? People seem to forget this little fact when they say how "horrible" Jude hooked up with the nanny and sent Sienna into a slut spiral. Hello, she's always been a slut and a homewrecker. Hmph.
—Fran the Nanny

Dear Ain't That the Truth:
Now you understand why Sienna's star power has gone down the toilet faster than the crap movies she makes. But people also forget she got screwed over, too. It's a terrible pattern isn't it? 

Dear Ted:
Please stop posting that picture of Carrie Prejean with the weird fake-for-the-cameras smile and spooky, scary stare. It really scares the bejeezus out of me! I know all her antics have been quite public, but I was just curious that if they weren't, what Blind Vice moniker would you give her? 
—Juliet

Dear Rep 'n' Ruined:
The possibilities for nicknaming this drag queen are endless. Secretly Sapphic sound good? 

Dear Ted:
I have just finished my final exams in Law in Oxford. Your blog kept me sane while I was revising, and I loved every Blind Vice and Robsten update. Keep up the good work—especially the totally random themes in your videos each week. Some people might think you're just writing about celebrity gossip, but really you're keeping people connected and being a star of pop culture.
—Emer

Dear Her Majesty:
Thank you for the gratuitous compliments, but you owe some of that to the celebs who are so delicious to write about.

Dear Ted:
I have a great nickname for R.Pattz and Megan Fox: Robme. Hahaha, get it? Good. Now stop talking about those useless Twilight brats and go back to reporting gossip about real movie stars like Angie, Reese, Jake G., etc.
—Jokester

Dear Playground Bully:
Please, Robsten has 10 times more drama (than you even know about) compared with Gyllenspoon's softball dates. 

Dear Ted:
First off, Kristen is beautiful, especially without makeup, so you haters better f--k off! Megan Fox needs a ton of makeup to pull her look together! Secondly, why is it that the American football player loses his contract and fame over his cruelty to dogs (which is totally disgusting!) but people are madly supporting Chris Brown for beating up Rihanna? I can't believe that people feel sorrier for a dog than for a human being. Please explain this, Ted.
—One Confused Trinidadian

Dear Caribbean Confusion:
Did you really just cite Michael Vick? You're about two years too late! But really, if you're hanging out with people who are "madly supporting" Chris Brown, you need to find a new posse—he's definitely not on a majority of fans' favorite lists. 

Dear Ted:
Why is everyone referring to Chaz Bono as he already? There hasn't been a sex change yet. The breasts are still there, and I assume the uterus and vagina are still there. At what point in this voyage does one go from she to he?
—Strayerch

Dear Anatomically Correct:
It's how Chaz wants you to refer to him, babe. 

Dear Ted:
Are Tori and Dean really the happy, loving couple they appear to be on their Home Sweet Hollywood reality show? Details please!
—Katie G

Dear Domestic:
Yes. Because he does exactly what she says. 

Dear Ted:
So sad to see so much Kristen Stewart hate this week in your last Bitch-Back. I'm finding myself quite the opposite lately, which really surprises me. Watching that video of yours with that poor girl pumping her gas and being ambushed all because she may be dating Robert Pattinson was sad and disgusting. Where is Mr. Pattz in all this? Why is he letting the girl he supposedly loves be attacked day in and day out? This 19-year-old girl is taking the brunt of his rumored love life, and it's sad to watch. Rob needs to step up before this girl falls apart or leaves him, because no way can the harassment be worth it day in and out while he seems fairly happy in N.Y.
—Erin K

Dear Pity, Pity:
Where is "Mr. Pattz?" He's getting mowed down by fans and automobiles! 

Dear Ted:
Has Toothy Tile ever done a movie with Jennifer Aniston?
—Kelly in Bar Harbor

Dear Det. Toothy:
Yes.