Morning Piss: Who Should Write Angelina Tell-All?

Is Andrew Morton up to the Jolie challenge?

By Ted Casablanca May 06, 2009 11:27 AMTags
Angelina Jolie, Brad PittAnita Bugge/Getty Images

Page Six is reporting that Angelina Jolie's skeletons might be outted in a more legal, and trendier, fashion. Rumor has it famed author Andrew Morton has targeted Ange as the subject of his next supposedly juicy unauthorized biography.

Yeah, well, the former tabloid journalist has already pubbed books (in chronological order) on Princess Diana, Monica Lewinsky, Posh 'n' Becks and Tom Cruise.

Unfortunately, the pattern here isn't one of uncovering high-profile zingers and exposés, but the fact that each Morton tome has steadily been less juicy and goose-bump-inciting than the one prior.

Think of Morton as the M. Night Shyamalan of tell-all smut literature. And that's precisely what has me damn worried: Is he really the right dude to go after Ange?

Now, if Andrew can get back to his Diana days, then yeah, this will be one helluva page-turner. Only prob is Diana totally gave Morton everything he had in Diana: Her True Story, and we all know Jolie is not going to be that forthcoming. Like, not at all.

Oh, and you better believe A.J. will have bigger and better lawyers than Tom Cruise did to ensure her nasty secrets get no where near print. Maybe the Awful Truth should take this one on? Watch out, E! snit-lawyers!