Frazer Harrison/Getty ImagesJake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, taking a long-needed vacay from Brentwood coffee runs, headed out to the hotass desert to check out musicfest Coachella.
I think they wanted folks to think they actually sweat from things other than hikes and runs.
The pretty pair brushed off watching headlining act The Killers in favor of grooving to hipster fave Jenny Lewis. Jakey and Jenny used to date way, way back in the day, but Reese must not be much of a jealous lady since she mouthed the words to every song while Gyll-hon wrapped his Prince of Persia biceps around her.
What a sweetie! How perfectly protective, bro! But what was this, a People Who Have Dated Jake Gyllenhaal Convention?
'Cause another J.G. ex at the fest was...
Kirsten Dunst, chain-smoking and texting in the VIP area during Morrissey's set. Jeez, Kiki coulda done that for free at home, right? The recently rehabbed babe was seen drinking, but, like, that rehab trip was for depression, not alcoholism, so it's totally OK 'cause the two are so unrelated, right? K.D. tried her darndest to be antisocial, her eyes only on her BlackBerry, but one gal got K.D.'s attention, that being...
Megan Fox, looking trashy and hot, as she plunked herself smack-dab in front of Kirsten. Meg, sans her whatever Brian Austin Green, turned around and introduced herself to Dunst, who shook her hand and immediately went back to not giving a merde. Has the BlackBerry-slap replaced the bitch-slap? Think so!
Another hon digging the Moz was...
Kate Bosworth, slinking around attached at the hip to a hairy hipster type. If that's the alternative to hanging with Orlando Bloom, we much prefer Bloom.
Also a dame with a shady sort of fella with her was...
Paris Hilton, with her guy candy Doug Reinhardt, shaking her nonexistent ass off at MSTRKRFT at the Sahara dance tent. Princess Pare-poo made her way to the front of the stage, 'natch—ya think she'd settle for a less-than-stellar view? P and D partied way into the night—do these two ever stay in and play board games or rent a DVD? Guess Hilton got her fill of domesticity during her Benji Madden phase.
One dude uncorrupted by Paris and hanging in Palm Springs was...
Ian Somerhalder, sitting at a booth full of beautiful babes at the Ace Hotel's diner. The former Lost cutie was dressed in skinny jeans and a T, but the only accessories he needed were his piercing blue eyes. Our swooning source assumed Ian's female fandom made him "surprisingly not gay." Yeah, 'cause gay men never hang out with a bunch of women.
Another man chilling at the Ace Hotel whose bed notches were recently up for gab was...
Kanye West, soaking in some rays at the hotel's posh pool party. The "gay fish" rapper hung with some pals, but mainly focused on the sun, which is a major break from concentrating so intensely on his ego.
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain, Taryn Ryder and Ande Dagan