Tom Casino/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I hope justice is served for not helping a person in danger (Howard K. Stern providing the multiple drugs to Anna Nicole Smith). Sad society we live in, be careful for Karma, you s--t TV media sensationalist.
—Ornetari
Dear High as Anna Nicole:
Uh, you talkin' to me, doll-babe? I ain't no Howard K., who, for the record, is accused of reportedly supplying drugs to Anna. And don't forget: Karma cuts three ways, including to those who judge the judgers.
Dear Ted:
Do you have any dish on the seriously gorgeous Taylor Kitsch who plays Riggins on Friday Night Lights and Gambit in the new Wolverine movie? I am dying to know more about him.
—Scarlett
Dear Taylor-Made:
Well, let's see. He's from Canada (land of everything possibly sexy happening these days), and Hugh Jackman, I hear, took him under his hairy acting wing, so expect a well-mentored Taylor frenzy forthwith.
Dear Ted:
You mentioned Rob playing a gay character in his new movie Little Ashes. Well, I think fans are already over it and will definitely go watch this one come May 8. A lot of fans are excited about this because it's something different, and we all know R.P. is different from other Hollywood stars. Do you think R. Pattz is worried? I don't think so. Too bad it's only limited release. Anyways, always fun reading your blolumn.
—Yes1990
Dear Not So Little Pattz:
I don't think Rob gives an ef about whether the girls still want to do him in this flick. I think his mind (and heart) is preoccupied.
Dear Ted:
Let's just be honest with the Rob Pattinson-obsessed fans and admit that the man isn't dating anyone, just sleeping with a bunch of different people. The man is young, gorgeous and British; he is certainly gettin' some from just about everyone he comes in contact with. Love ya, dear, and can't wait till the stories come out about Rob's many, many, many conquests.
—Sam
Dear Fantasy Fickled:
Did my "he f--ks whoever he wants" quote not do it for ya, hon?
Dear Ted:
Mr. Casablanca, I'm a new convert to your blog/site/column. I used to watch your show years ago...with the other gossip columnists? You've been Hollywood gossiping for what, 150 years now? What can I say. If anyone has gossip connections it would be Ted Casablanca! Feel free to email me with stuff you can't post on your site. Kind regards.
—Nicola
Dear Mathematician:
150 years?! Ouch! If you watched me back then, how old does it make you?
Dear Ted:
I just saw this headline on Huffington Post and thought it was blogworthy, especially on your blog: "Gay Families Invited to White House Easter Event." While I'm not gay, I believe in love and am proud of this step our president has made. Now if only California can follow in the same direction as Vermont, Connecticut and Iowa (Iowa!) and legalize gay marriage. All the best to you and your family. I really enjoy your column—keep up the great work!
—Lola
Dear Hunting for Homos:
But where's our new prez's modern stance on gay marriage, then?
Dear Ted:
Does Christina Ricci slur her words? Does Tori Spelling have thighs? Is Jennifer Love Hewitt a disaster? Why haven't they ever fixed the camera so that it can take off 10 pounds instead of adding? Oh, the humanity!
—Michael
Dear Upstart:
Who died and made you head snark, bitch? Those comments are very Regina George of you.
Dear Ted:
I think you are obsessed with Jennifer Aniston, and that's why you constantly find a need to write about her. I love J.A. I love her movies, and I think she has class, something you may try to somehow get your hands on next time you write a something.
—Dentworxtn
Dear House of Jen:
How can I fit an Aniston shrine in my house, too, if I apparently have a Brad one already?
Dear Ted:
Which couple will break up first: Toothy Tile and his beard or Toothy and his boyfriend, Grey Goose? And I don't believe Toothy is in love with Goose anymore, but it's a convenient relationship...for Toothy.
—L
Dear Chipped Tooth:
If Toothy has it both ways, then he'll have his beard for the long haul with a little Goose on the side. We don't think G.G. can up and leave him.
Dear Ted:
Love the column and your sense of style! Can you tell me where you got that fab plaid button-down that you wore in the April 2 Truth, Lies, & Ted? Thanks a bunch!
—Audrey
Dear Clothesnoop:
Yeah, my husband's closet.
Dear Ted:
Nikki Reed may not be dating Rob, but is it possible that they are shagging? (Praying no with fingers crossed.)
—Obsessed
Dear Friends With Benefits:
Please no.
Dear Ted:
I admit, I have no idea who Toothy Tile is and will stop guessing. But I was thinking that Brain-Fry Noodlestein sure sounded like Jason Schwartzman.
—Earthprints
Dear Who?
BFN is more widely recognizable, unfortunately.
Dear Ted:
Why is it you think Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are in a sucky marriage?
—Bex
Dear Roundabout Relaysh:
I never said sucky. Weird's more like it. But sure it's nothing like that last one of Nic's!
Dear Ted:
What are your thoughts these days about collapsing A-listers? All that dieting and stress and exhaustion. Poor lambs!
—Nadazero
Dear Exhaustion:
Lindsay Lohan is hardly an A-lister.