ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

Sarah Palin's poll numbers are through the roof.

Monday's Oprah Winfrey Show, featuring the first stop on Palin's Going Rogue book tour, scored the daytime talk show's highest ratings in two years, reports said. 

And yes, that means Palin outdrew the chimp-attack victim, Mackenzie Phillips' shocking daddy disclosure,  and Ellen DeGeneres' wedding video, to name three recent high-profile Oprah Winfrey gets.

Never underestimate the appeal of a pistol-packin' former vice presidential candidate with Levi Johnston problems, apparently.

Elsewhere in TV-ratings land, Heather Locklear saved Melrose Place last night. Well, sort of.

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Looks like Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Katie's won't be happening this year.

Hearing that his former future mother-in-law, Sarah Palin, is a bit heartbroken by his decision to pose for Playgirl, Levi Johnston thought neither long nor hard and announced that he couldn't care less.

"You know what, I don't care if she sees them," he said of the not-full-frontal photos he took for the magazine, when E!'s cameras caught up with him today at L.A. International Airport.

"Who cares about what she says or does? I don't care. Forget about her," he said.

It's very obvious that the 19-year-old father of Palin's grandson, Tripp, doesn't care what she thinks, which is that Levi is "on a road that's not a healthy place to be."

True, the traffic on the road leading out of LAX is an accident waiting to happen...

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Carrie Prejean, for one, cares what Sarah Palin thinks.

Playgirl.com

UPDATE: The fine folks at Playgirl.com have offered this image of the hockey boy in the shower. No sticks, though—just hairy pits.

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Levi Johnston must be more bashful than we thought.

After all the hype, the father to Sarah Palin's grandson won't be giving Playgirl the full monty. What a tease!

"[Levi] did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, told the New York Daily News.

However, the rep does promise minor peeks at Bristol Palin's ex's goodies and that the overall, ahem, package is sure to please.

"We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

So much for that "aspiring porn" career! Sounds like there may be one less thing to talk about at the Palin family Thanksgiving dinner table.

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There was no nudity (or even a moon) on the New Moon red carpet, but everyone looked hot nonetheless.

How dare Levi Johnston say Sarah Palin never went to a hockey game!

As Oprah Winfrey ticked off a list of unflattering things that Johnston has said about the Palin family since splitting up with baby mama Bristol, it appeared to be the attack on her hockey-mom status that stuck with the former governor of Alaska during her recent sit-down on Oprah, which aired today.

"So many of the inconsistencies...That's Levi's gig right now. And I really don't want to comment on that because he's on a road that's not a healthy place to be. He's a teenager."

When Winfrey first mentioned the 19-year-old father of Palin's grandson, Tripp, the Going Rogue: An American Life author kinda grimaced, but pressed on despite her distaste for "some of the things he's doing."

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Oprah Winfrey is no Katie Couric. Which, for Sarah Palin, has got to be a blessing.

The former vice presidential candidate has completed her much-hyped interview with the openly Obama-favoring queen of daytime, and although the highly anticipated summit won't air until Monday, we got a taste of their sit-down today.

Based on the clips and transcripts, it looks like Winfrey managed to get in the questions inquiring minds want to know without Palin pulling off her microphone and sitting silently in protest.

Like that infamous, potentially campaign-costing Couric interview. Palin admits it wasn't her proudest moment, but didn't take the bait when asked if she regarded it as game-changer.

"I did not. And neither did the campaign. In fact, that is why segment 2 and 3 and 4 and maybe 5 were scheduled. The campaign said, 'Right on. Good. You're showing your independence. This is what America needs to see and it was a good interview.'

"And of course I'm thinking, 'If you thought that was a good interview, I don't know what a bad interview is,' because it was a bad interview."

Oprah, of course, knows from good interviews and has no trouble going there. Which means Levi Johnston's ears are burning.

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Carrie Prejean is pretty, but she sure is testy.

Larry King got the fallen beauty queen so fired up on CNN's Larry King Live last night, she walked out on the show.

Prejean is in the middle of a publicity bonanza hawking her new book, Still Standing, which details her clash with Donald Trump, Shanna Moakler and the rest of the Miss California organization.

After she showed off the tome and talked about her love for Sarah Palin—she considers herself "Palinized"—King began to ask about Prejean's recent settlement with the pageant organizers. She continued to spout her party line...that is, until she called King inappropriate and ripped off her microphone.

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Shat happens.

Most recently, on Wednesday night, when William Shatner gifted the viral video gods with yet another dramatic interpretation of awe-inspiring tweets, this time seemingly from the mind and keyboard of pro leg-spreader Levi Johnston.

Only they weren't.

"We'd been following Levi on Twitter and felt his gift for the written word needed to be shared with the world," Conan O'Brien explained. "Today I wake up very late, I sleep in, and I got some shocking news: Apparently the tweets that we read are counterfeit. They were written by a clever imposter posing as the witty Levi Johnston.

"And the real Levi is angry with us now."

So what better way to redress the balance than by inviting the beat poet extraordinaire back out to the stage to reinterpret some bona fide Johnston sound bites.

"The first thing Sarah said to me at the hotel was, You gotta cut your hair," the Shatman recited. "I told her I didn't want to. I had a mullet at the time.

"Guess what? I shot a bigass bear," he went on. "I just get naked, that's what I do."

On second thought, he might have been better off laying claim to the counterfeit quotes.

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Want more funny videos? Check out the offerings from resident funnylady Chelsea Handler!