Rise 'n' Shine: Let the Madonna-Guy Ritchie Gossiping Fun Begin!

Madonna, Guy Ritchie Jason Kempin/WireImage.com

Madonna introduced her song "Miles Away" with this dedication: "This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. God knows I do." Hmmm, who do you think she's talking about?

Guy Ritchie reportedly wants "not one penny" of Madge's $521 million fortune, but he's worth about $60 million on his own so he just might make it through this divorce OK.

When Guy was letting the pain out, he allegedly told a friend, "I'm afraid the laughs in our life together were long gone. She's obsessed with her own public image, obsessed with being seen as some kind of global soothsayer."

Madonna's friends never thought their relationship would last, because "in the end it was all just an elaborate game of dress up, a rollicking charade." Does this mean she'll go back to her American accent?

Apparently Guy and Madonna couldn't even pull it together for Gwyneth Paltrow, who is said to be pretty torn up about the whole thing.

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Welcome, Matt Oh, don't look so troubled, Mr. Damon. We're always happy to see your Oscar-winning self

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