The Excremental Suri
We may not know what Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter looks like on the outside, but her insides are about to become a little less mysterious.
Turning "fine art" into what may be the most subjective term in the world, a bronze sculpture entitled Suri's Bronzed Baby Poop, inspired by the TomKitten spawn's first solid meal and the fecal matter that presumably followed, will go on display Wednesday.
Don't worry, no actual poop was harmed in the making of this sculpture.
"Babies mostly breast-feed for the first four months, so a baby's first meal of solid food may be a baby's first meal at the dinner table," said David Kesting, director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district. "A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family."
Oh, for you, perhaps. The shiny sculpture will be at the gallery at least through September (unless people riot beforehand) and will be up for auction on eBay, with proceeds going to the March of Dimes. Limited edition plaster replicas will also be for sale.
Daniel Edwards, who previously brought us Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, the sculpture of a very pregnant and very nude Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, is the man behind the idea, which, according to a press release, was also inspired by the successful children's book Everybody Poops.
Well, everybody does a lot of things, most of which should never be cast in bronze. But the Capla gallery apparently knows that if you're going to showcase a replica of diaper detritus, you'd better have some darn good underlying social criticism or a tongue-in-cheek, wink-wink joke in mind.
"It's partially a statement on modern media that 'celebrity poop' has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today," the Capla crew said in a statement, "and also the absurdity of the media coverage on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions, eclipsing far more notable events with more substance."
Speaking of which, the masses will reportedly get their first glimpse of four-month-old Suri in Vanity Fair this fall, courtesy of celebrity photographer Annie Leibowitz. It's been 133 days, per Us Weekly's handy-dandy still-no-Suri clock, since the child's birth.
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