Afternoon Bitch-Back! Is the Honeymoon Over for Nicole and Keith?

If Nic’s recently poor fashion choices are any indication, the actress is having an identity crisis

Dear Ted:
I'm not a Nicole Kidman fan but in all fairness, she and Keith Urban never had a "honeymoon phase" because he went into rehab right after they married. They do seem off, even for them.
—XXOO

Dear Perceptive Pal:
If Nic's recent fashion choices are any indication, something is definitely off in the Kidman/Urban household. A source in the Kidman camp even tells us, "She's losing it." Her mojo, that is. Well what do you think happens when you're married to Tom Cruise for 10 years and then trade him in for a short Australian cowboy? The ladylike actress is bound to have some sort of identity crisis at some point! But despite her sometimes expression-less face, Nic does seem happier than ever. Maybe she is too busy in mommy-mode raising her two young daughters to be as worried about her red carpet choices as she once was? And with a third baby possibly in the couple's future, looks like the Australian odd couple are here to stay. For now, at least.

Dear Ted:
So tell me Ted, the truth please. When Reese gave her speech about all high and mighty about girls becoming famous for reality TV and naked pics (which I agree with the message, just not the preacher), all E! seems to mention is that maybe she was referring to our dear ole Blake. No single mention of K-Dash, what-so-ever and becoming famous for re-al TV. Be honest, you or E! MUST be under contract not to say a bad word about those krazy Kardashians....right?? Just admit, she was dead on with the E! starlets. ADMIT Ted!
—Megan

Dear Dash Basher:
Oh come on, we have no probs calling out the K's. You're right that they fit the nudey lovin' reality TV starrin' mold, but any Kardash sex tape scandals are old news by now and we love that they totally embrace their bad behavior! Hello, Khloé was practically thrilled with her nip slip this week! Blake, who was actually in the audience during Reese's speech, is the subject of the most recent naked scandal and she keeps denying it, so her supposed dirty deeds have everyone talking...including Saint Reese.

Dear Ted:
Time for you to weigh in my friend! Some other gossip sites have brought up the idea that R.Patz used a body double in the...shall we say "more intimate" scenes between Bella and Edward in Breaking Dawn. What do you think?
—Curious Cat

Dear Too Ripped to be True?:
So false. Looks like Rob just did some push-ups in between movies.

Dear Ted:
Inquiring minds want to know, Ted: So Sienna Miller is known for liking attention. Do you think she would like the extra attention she would get by hanging out with the likes of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson—or do you think she's a girl who doesn't like to share the spotlight long term at all, especially with another young female starlet? xoxo
—Katie

Dear Just for Looks:
You know Sienna is loving the attention she's getting for schmoozing with K.Stew and the rest of her young crew, but we just can't see a BFF-type friendship lasting between these two very different Vogue cover gals. Besides, S already has Keira Knightley as her famous friend, so she can always save the Robsten crew for purely partying.

Dear Ted:
Yeah, Ted, you are banking on the wrong franchise post-Twilight. The Hunger Games is good, but it's not going to be a Twilight repeat cause it's not a romantic story overall. The Mortal Instruments is a romantic story though, with forbidden love, and a hot rebellious love interest who unlike Edward likes to get his s e x on. Hunger Games is awesomely written, but it is a rip off of Battle Royale TOTALLY, and Mockingjay was a big let down and Josh Hutcherson is no Robert "dreamboat" Pattinson.
—ATPM

Dear Book Club:
Hear me out, a huge reason we love THG is because it doesn't center around Katniss trying to snag a man. Yes, Kat has her romance troubles and that's an awesome side story, but she's too busy trying to survive to sit around pondering her love life. And we agree, the Games are so not a Twilight repeat in terms of story-line, but in terms of a fan-base and scale, we predict an equally large phenomenon. Anyway, we need to start a book-turned-movie club, Oprah style, because this debate is too good.

Dear Ted:
Love the Awful Truth! Is Jamie Foxx King Schlong? My rescue cat Aslan needs to know!
—Aslan's Parentals

Dear Shlong Song:
Good guess but no can do. The Schlong is not in Oprah's inner circle.