Eva Longoria, Cannes Film Festival


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Rule number 1 about wearing jumpsuits...OK, this is also rule numbers 2, 3 and 4 about wearing jumpsuits: Don't wear them.

Don't wear them unless your boobs are concave and your ass could double as a cheese board and your hips are smaller than Sarah Jessica Parker's after a week in a steam room.

Do not and, really seriously, do not wear said jumpsuit to the Cannes Film Festival, where the fashion competition is fiercer than a Project Runway viewing party in West Hollywood.

But did Eva Longoria listen to us? No...

She's hot enough to squeeze into painted-on Marchesas and microscopic Victoria Beckham minis, so maybe she thought she could conquer fashion kryptonite. That kryptonite is what you see here—a one-piece Elie Saab Spring 2012 electric-blue jumpsuit with lace detailing and, it appears, a set of cuffs modeled after sweat pants.

Even the actresses snappy black sandals and Damiani Belle Epoque Collection earrings couldn't save her from death by high-end sleepwear as she appeared as an ambassador for L'Oreal.

Well, at least her makeup is pretty.

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