Darron Cummings/AP ImagesTwo of Tiger Woods' mistresses are going camel toe to camel toe in the media. Joslyn James and Rachel Uchitel are having a war of words, but unfortunately neither of them is making any sense. Uchitel went on TMZ to say that James is using her affair with Tiger to gain celebrity. Way to make the point that you are not...by going to TMZ. Who is her publicist, Michael Lohan? She also just agreed to pose for Playboy, because she's really hoping to stay under the radar. James fired back that she had certainly never heard of Uchitel before the scandal, and the only reason Rachel hasn't blabbed her story is because Tiger paid her to keep her mouth shut. James explained that she was an "actor and a dancer" before Tiger...translation: porn star and stripper. To top it off, James insists that it looks like it is Rachel's "job" to pork other people's husbands, and that she herself was never trying to break up anybody's marriage. Hey, dumbass: If you don't want to break up someone's marriage, don't f--k a married guy. These girls are both so stupid.