Amy Schumer is known for making some raunchy jokes that are sometimes pulled from her own life, but not every sexual experience this comedienne has lived through is a funny matter.
In an extended preview of the celeb's Marie Claire interview (via the Huffington Post), Schumer opened up about the time she lost her virginity at 17 years old, and revealed that it wasn't consensual.
"My first sexual experience was not a good one," Schumer told the magazine, adding that she didn't understand what had happened until she revisited the experience in her journal.
"I didn't think about it until I started reading my journal again. When it happened, I wrote about it almost like a throwaway. It was like, And then I looked down and realized he was inside me. He was saying, 'I'm so sorry' and 'I can't believe I did this.'"
Schumer went on to explain that this man is no longer a part of his life, and she doesn't feel the need to punish him for what he did. "This was 17 years ago. There are just so many factors," she said, noting that it unfortunately wasn't the only time something like this happened. "I had another time with a boyfriend where I was saying, ‘No, stop,' and it was just completely ignored."
The 35-year-old star doesn't consider herself a victim, but did speak out against our culture's constant victim-blaming in situations like these. "You know, with the rape survivor, it's not just shaming, it's fury," Schumer said. "It makes people so mad if you're not a perfect victim."
During her interview, Schumer also opened up about her current relationship with Ben Hanisch and the frightening aspect of being in love.
"Being in love is the scariest thing in the world. You want to f--king cry and scream. I can't handle it. Every time we say goodbye, I think, 'This will have been a nice last week together.' Or I tell myself nothing is real and he's going to leave me and tell me he never loved me," she told the magazine. "I feel so bad for him. How exhausting it must be dating me."
Schumer's in-depth interview will be available when Marie Claire's August issue hits newsstands on July 19.