Where There's a Way, There's a Will: Has Will.i.am ever turned down a gig? This time out, the Black Eyed Pea-man rapped his way through 50 years of Grammy history, give or take most of it, and the audience reaction was overwhelming: blank stares, texting, gum chewing and one priceless shot of a sour-faced older lady who looked ready to give Will a knee to the peas. Watch yourself, man.
Biggest Upset: We’re not referring to the fact that Herbie Hancock won for his album of Joni Mitchell music, but how Kanye West must be feeling right now.
The Young and the Rest of Us: Hancock is 67, but the surprise Album of the Year winner looks exactly like he did back when he played with Miles Davis in the early 1960s. How is that even possible?
The Longest Day: You know how those big, outdoor music festivals go on and on and you get tired and want to leave but you can't because your car is stuck in the parking lot and you can't find your cousin because he met some girl from Vermont and he's totally trying to get with her even though she's totally not interested? The Grammys telecast felt like that.
—Filed by Erik Pedersen