Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has a song for everything: one-night stands, girl crushes, obsessing about something you've said and now…large breasts. That's right, get acquainted with "Heavy Boobs" in the video above.
In "Josh's Sister Is Getting Married!," the Monday, March 28 episode of The CW comedy, Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) gets pulled into a tricky situation with Josh's (Vincent Rodriguez III) family after his sister (Tess Paras) asks her to be bridesmaid. Rebecca decides to use the role to try and smooth things over with Valencia (Gabrielle Ruiz). While trying on dresses, Valencia comments on Rebecca's chest size, out of jealousy, but Rebecca is quick to point out big breasts aren't all they're cracked up to be and launches into "Heavy Boobs." It's something special.
Consider this verse: "Let me break down what I just said: Each of my double Ds has the volume of a toddler's head. I'm not bitching about my boobies, they look super fly in shirts. But if I swung them in your face you'd be like ‘Oh my god that hurts, I'm blind. Holy crap, I literally can't see. I have permanent retinal damage, I'm suing you and your heavy boobies.'"
And of course because it's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, one of the smartest and most subversive shows on TV, the song points out that breasts are just "sacks of yellow fat, like the stuffing of a couch," there to feed babies. Think about this song next time you're ogling.
Also in the episode, Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin) struggles to accept Rebecca's new mindset about getting her life on track and Greg (Santino Fontana) comes to realization of his own after helping with somebody's love dilemma.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend airs Mondays, 8 p.m. on The CW. And fear not, it's already been renewed for a second season.