Prashant Gupta/FX"I really like you. I hate to see it end."
Well, that ending sure was a kick in the pants, was it not, American Horror Story: Hotel, fans?
Just when John (Wes Bentley) believed he was being led to the 10 Commandments Killer by TV's creepiest child of the moment, Wren, she chose instead to throw herself in front of a truck. Still, this episode had some stunning reveals, and inched us closer to the Killer's identity.
According to actually 30-something-year-old Wren, she has been helping a "Man"/"He" with The 10 Commandment Killings. So….Which male character could be The Killer? Let's break it down and rank all the male characters.
7. Rudy Valentino (Finn Wittrock): Not possible. Has been locked up in that hallway for 90 years.
6. Gabriel (Max Greenfield): Nope. Dead. Outside-of-the-hotel dead. And therefore… gone. (Unlike our memories of what happened to him with that drill. SHUDDER.)
5. Tristan (Finn Wittrock): Nope. Just…Way too dumb.
4. Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson): Hard no. An aesthetics-obsessed man who bleaches his own nether-regions would rather die than be caught in any of those murder scenes.
3. Donovan (Matt Bomer): Probably not, right? Too concerned with being a jilted lover and wouldn't have ever done anything without The Countess's permission prior to their breakup.
So that leaves us with two final candidates. It has to be one of these two:
2. James March (Evan Peters): All the motive in the world, right? And certainly fits the profile as we know he's obsessed with death and dismemberment. But from what we've seen so far…March has not been able to leave Hotel Cortez since his apparent death. So CAN HE be the killer? If he can't, perhaps he has somehow made a minion out of…
1. John (Wes Bentley): His loose grasp on reality certainly would make him ripe for a Fight Club-esque twist, right? What if he's hunting The Killer by day, and is The Killer by night? All under the hypnosis somehow of March? Wren didn't act as if she didn't know him…
Unless it's a character we have not yet met?
Other revelations tonight:
The Countess Fell for Tristan for Good Reason. Finally, we know why she ditched Matt Bomer's perfect perfection for an egomaniacal twirp like Tristan. He looks exactly the same as her one and only true love, Rudy Valentino, from nine decades prior. Who's hoping for a Tristan V. Rudy smackdown? Finn Wittrock V. Finn Wittrock in all its green screen glory?
The Countess, Valentino, Natasha and Those Douchey Cowboys Could Take March Out. Seems only logical they would combine forces to exact revenge for him locking up Valentino and Natasha in the secret wing. Could the most evil man alive finally be taken down?
Finn Wittrock and Lady Gaga Would Win Dancing With the Stars. Let's hear it for that threesome Argentine Tango! Such a stunning backstory and that scene in Valentino's house was everything. It's worth mentioning: Gaga is holding her own, even in flashbacks with real emotion, up against this insanely talented cast. So…bravo, bellisima.
Tweet your own theories about The 10 Commandments Killer to @KristinDSantos!