TANNEN MAURY/EPA /LANDOV First of all…who the hell tries to steal Serena Williams' phone and thinks he can get away with it?
In one of the most bizarre yet badass stories ever told, the GOAT of tennis took to Facebook to reveal how she channeled her inner Superwoman and chased down a man who stole her phone right from underneath her during a dinner on Tuesday night.
"Soooooo yesterday at dinner the CRAZIEST THING happened to me. I was sitting enjoying some Chinese food (delicious may I add) and this guy stands next to me," she wrote. "And something (I have now dubbed it my SUPERHERO sense) told me to watch him. My phone was sitting in the chair but I just didn't feel right. He was there too long."
Soooooo yesterday at dinner the CRAZIEST THING happened to me. I was sitting enjoying some Chinese food (delicious may I...
Posted by Serena Williams on Wednesday, November 4, 2015
She wondered whether or not he was a customer or if he was waiting to use the restroom, trying to shake off the weird feeling, but she just couldn't do it.
"I kept watching him from the corner of my eye. Than when least expected low and behold this common petty thief grabbed my phone and swiftly left. I looked at the chair, than shouted ‘Omg that dude took my phone!!'"
But instead of screaming for help, the superhero took it upon herself to chase him down.
"Not thinking I reacted (hence the superwoman photo) I jumped up, weaved my way in and out of the cozy restaurant (leaping over a chair or two) and chased him down. He began to run but I was too fast. (Those sprints came in handy) I was upon him in a flash!"
When she caught up to him she said, "In the most menacing yet calm no nonsense voice I could muster I kindly asked him if he ‘accidentally' took the wrong phone. He stumbled on his words probably not expecting this to happen… Eventually, he said ‘Gosh you know what I did! It was so confusing in there. I must have grabbed the wrong phone.'"
Of course she was greeted with a standing ovation upon her return to the restaurant, feeling like a total badass.
"I've got the speed the jumps, the power, the body, the seduction, the sex appeal, the strength, the leadership and yet the calm to weather the storm," she gushed. "I was proud. I just showed every man in there I can stand up to bullies and other men. It was a win for the ladies!"
She adds some advice for her fellow badass bitches: "Just because you are a lady don't be afraid to step up to any challenge and not be a victim but a hero!"
Way to go, girl!