John Mayer

John Mayer thinks he'd be pretty good at proposing because he'd "get creative." Ugh, now it's going to be all "OMG, John Proposed!" next week, and Jennifer Aniston's going to be all denying it, and then we're all going to be ready for the Jen-attention train to be over, but it won't be over for another month.

Sarah Silverman just landed $2.5 million for a book of essays, which is one more figure than Stephanie from Full House is getting for her meth-addiction memoir. See kids, drugs don't pay.

Jessica Biel might be designing handbags for Justin Timberlake's line. But has he seen the way his lady friend has been dressing lately? Totally not a good idea, bro. (J.T. likes to be called bro, BTW.)

Oh, Robert Pattinson, please stop being so awesome to look at. Why isn't Twilight opening this weekend?