"LOL THAT LEFT SHARK DURING KATY PERRY'S SUPER BOWL PERFORMANCE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS DOING! LET'S MAKE IT A STAR!"—Literally the entire Internet
"That Right Shark showed up and performed its routine the way it was supposed to. Bravo, Right Shark."—Basically no one
And now you are all caught up on this Left vs. Right Shark situation. Because the Right Shark did its job correctly, and even if that "job" was moving giant foam fins in an organized manner, he still did it. And he did it well. And yet because the Left Shark forgot the nine moves he was supposed to perform and looked ridiculous, he's the one everyone's talking about the day after.
He's a meme.
He's a GIF.
He's a Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr celebrity.
He's the subject of approximately 17 Buzzfeed articles.
Why are we celebrating the shark that couldn't do its ONE job?!
What?! What are you doing here, Leftie?
You're not supposed to just stand there and stare into the camera! Dance!
You're not even onstage anymore! What are you even doing?!
Teenage dream?! More like Teenage NIGHTMARE.
And yet here we all are, just yucking it up over this Left Shark basically ruining Right Shark's career.
We feel bad for that Right Shark. He's the one who nailed all its marks and danced the way we assume a giant cartoon shark is supposed to dance and yet…no one is tweeting about the wonder that is the responsible Right Shark.
Well, we're not going to celebrate that rogue, rule-breaking Left Shark. We're going to honor the Right Shark, because he represents the people in this world who choose to be a Right Shark in a world full of Left Sharks. Right Sharks are the sharks that get s--t done and keep this planet spinning!
So remember, if you ever encounter a Left Shark, just be the Right Shark you want to see in the world.
Right Shark, you da real MVP.