by Jenna Mullins | Fri., Jan. 30, 2015 8:30 AM
Almost time for the big game! We're talking of course about The Kitten Bowl! It's going to be fluffy, grand old time!
And then on Sunday two teams full of large men are going to play for a trophy. People have parties. And they usually have food at these parties. And since we love to make snacks feel bad about themselves, we ranked the best and worst appetizers (or whatever you want to call them) at your standard, American Super Bowl party:
Leafy greens that are packed with vitamins and nutrients?! Get that s--t outta here.
16. Veggie tray
So this is basically a deconstructed salad. The usual appearance of ranch dressing makes this slightly better than salad because sometimes people put healthy dressings on salads and that's a risk we don't like to take.
15. Fruit platters
Ugh. More stuff that won't clog our arteries. But we do love a good chocolate-covered strawberry so it's better than veggies for sure.
14. Bowl of nuts
Meh. We're usually just picking out the cashews and peanuts.
13. Trail mix
Only slightly better than a bowl of nuts because at least this will most likely have M&Ms in it.
It really depends on the type of candy. If it's stuff like Reese's, Snickers and the like, that's more than acceptable. If it's candy like the one pictured above, then you are a 79-year-old woman. And if you are a 79-year-old woman throwing a Super Bowl party, that's pretty boss.
Nothing beats a classic potato chip…except all the things ranked above this one.
10. Cheese ball
It's not the actual cheese we're mad at, because how can someone be mad at something so delicious? It's all that crap that's usually covering the cheese ball that we have to work through to get to the goodness that irks us.
9. Deviled eggs
Remember to take a page from Ron Swanson's playbook and ask the host this question regarding the delicious treat: "If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?"
8. Pigs in a blanket
This snack makes us think of cute little pigs all adorably bundled up in blankets. And then we eat them.
7. Homemade Chex mix
We might be biased because our mom always made this for big parties, but homemade Chex mix (in both the sweet and savory variety), is our favorite thing to eat out of a bowl.
Slide directly down to our tummies, you delicious mini burgers!
5. Potato skins
This is basically just a vehicle to bring cheese, bacon and sour cream directly into our mouths. That's what dreams are made of.
4. Chips and salsa/guacamole
A classic combination that never goes out of style. Hold up, Taylor Swift trademarked that saying, didn't she? Correction. This is a classic combination that always stays in style. There we go! Nailed it.
Queso dip. Spinach and artichoke dip. Sour cream and onion dip. It doesn't matter what kind of dip it is...if we can scoop it up with a chip and it's full of dairy, we're so down.
2. Bacon-wrapped anything
If you're serving bacon-wrapped bacon, expect us at your party. We don't care if we're strangers or you didn't invite us. Give us bacon!
1. Chicken wings
The ultimate sports-watching food. The humble chicken wing is so versatile and so scrumptious. If you don't like eating chicken wings while watching a football game, we're pretty sure you can have your United States citizenship revoked.
What's your favorite Super Bowl party snack?
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