AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, Barry King/WireImage.comThere aren’t many people who know what really goes on backstage at the Oscars. Bruce Vilanch is one of the few who does. The funnyman has been a writer for 19 Academy Awards.
And talk about a rush job. “Last week was nuts, because I was in Las Vegas until Thursday doing Bette Midler shows, because I really thought that the Oscars would be postponed a month to the old date at the end of March,” Vilanch says. “But I was wrong. So, I had many balls in the air. I came in from Vegas and sort of like plummeted into it.”
But now he has some time to sit back and relax. I got the chance to catch up with Vilanch earlier today to give you my second annual list of 10 Things You Don’t Know About the Oscars.
10. No Country for New Jokes: The strike prevented Jon Stewart and his team from creating more elaborate hijinks. “They had a film piece, but it involved Javier Bardem, and he wasn’t available,” Vilanch says. “They just couldn’t put it together in two weeks. That’s what happens when my guild strikes.”
9. The Write Stuff: More than a dozen writers worked on the show. “There were four of us on the West Coast, and John had his squadron of 10 or 12 who came out from New York,” Vilanch says.
8. America's Most Wanted Jon: Stewart’s debut as Oscar host in 2006 may have gotten less than stellar reviews and ratings, but no matter. “I always thought they'd ask him back," Vilanch says. “I thought he was nervous...but I think he did fine."
7. Moore Not Less: Vilanch says he and the rest of the writing crew were disappointed that Michael Moore didn’t win Best Documentary for Sicko. “We were counting on him to come up and do something incendiary,” he says. “It would not only liven up the show, but it would also be something we could use as fuel for the rest of the evening.”
6. Carrey-ed Away
Vilanch & Co. had a similar letdown when Jim Carrey wasn't nominated for his portrayal of the late comic Andy Kaufman in the 1999 flick Man on the Moon. “We had a hysterical thing all worked up with Tony Clifton (a fictional character Kaufman often played in his act) crashing the Oscars,” Villanch remembers. “But then they ignored the picture totally, so the sound of flushing could be heard throughout the land.”
5. Friendly Fire: Vilanch says they have to walk a very careful line when spewing jokes about powerhouses like Tom Cruise and Madonna. “That audience is not going to laugh at a joke about Tom Cruise, so why bother?” Vilanch says. “And nobody’s going to laugh at jokes about Madonna adopting children...I mean, you’re sitting there, and they cut to you, and you know Madonna. You don’t want Madonna seeing you on TV laughing about her. It’s the wrong room.”
4. Knocked-Up Jokes: Judd Apatow wrote Seth Rogen's and Jonah Hill’s bits about Halle Berry and Judi Dench. “They are Judd’s boys,” Vilanch says. “They’re coming on with the energy from his movies, so you might as well let the person who created the energy create it again.”
3. Vanity Project: Vilanch predicts Vanity Fair’s editor in chief, Graydon Carter, will get back at Stewart for his crack about the decision to cancel the magazine’s annual party this year. Stewart joked that if VF really cared about writers, they should invite more of them to the annual VIP-only shindig. ”I’m sure Graydon is planning a page of all the writers who’ve been to the Vanity Fair party,” Villanch says.
2. The Naked Truth: Diablo Cody’s former life was cleaned up for prime time when Stewart mentioned her in his monologue. Vilanch says, “The Academy asked us to change Diablo’s description from stripper to exotic dancer.”
1. The Wrongest Day: Brad Renfro and Whoopi Goldberg weren’t the only video montage missteps by the Academy. Vilanch says the In Memoriam montage was changed just three hours before showtime. Why? Because the photo they used of the late Lorraine Day in The High and the Mighty from 1954 wasn’t her! “It was actually Claire Trevor,” Vilanch says. “It’s something that Lorraine Day’s family would watch and say, ‘Jeez, that’s not Mom!’ It got fixed.”