Don't you worry one more second because BEHOLD! Here is a local commercial for the East Hills Mall in St. Joseph, Mo. It has everything you could want in a song about a place that holds both a Build-a-Bear and a Panda Express like:
-Terrible green screen work
-Lyrics about haircuts, backpacks and new outfits
-Cute little girl who somehow got roped into this atrocity
-Someone beat boxing that sounds like they're just spitting near a microphone
And most importantly:
-Boots and pants and boots and pants!
According to an interview with KNPN, the producer of the commercial, Chris Fleck, was hoping it would go viral. It is unclear if he wanted it to go viral because it's so bad it will keep you up at night or because he thought it was a good(?) commercial.
Doesn't matter. Watch it. Live it. Learn it.