1. It's the hottest month of the year...
…but you can't really enjoy it fully. It's half a month of summer. Gross. It's the mugginess without the vacation vibe.
2. And for those of you out of school and working in the real world, it just means sweating more profusely through your office casual clothes.
Hello, pit stains, our old friend.
3. Speaking of school, you're going back. And soon.
Summer break is officially over.
4. Absolutely no holidays to look forward to. Zero.
June is a month-long holiday, since it kicks off summer. July has America's birthday, but August? Labor day weekend starts in August this year, but does that really count? (Answer: nope.)
5. No one releases big movies in August.
Save for Guardians of the Galaxy (which came out already so doesn't count anymore), is there a movie coming out this month to get excited about? Like really excited about? Studios have already released their big movies by now, or they are waiting until Fall/Christmas. Turns out, no one is that pumped about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
6. Stores are already putting Halloween decorations out.
Who wants to think about trick-or-treating when it's so humid outside you're swimming down the sidewalk instead of walking? And then parents with children have to worry about every store they enter having crazy displays of Halloween candy that their kids will be drawn to. And then you can't leave until you buy a bag of mixed candy and that's how you end up with a large amount of leftover Hershey's with Almonds bars because who even eats those?!
7. Your diet/workout plan to get bikini ready? Not gonna happen.
If you aren't bikini ready by now, you're just going to have to try again next summer. Although we think you're beautiful just the way you are. WINK.
8. TV is a desert wasteland.
TV season hasn't officially started up, so we're still battling reruns. And we're also still waiting for football season, and even when it does start up this month it's just pre-season games starring the second and third string teams. What's supposed to keep our fat asses glued to the couch during August?!
But the realizations aren't all terrible. In fact, August means a lot of good things in your life, like:
9. Fall is just a hop, skip and a jump away.
Sweaters! Pumpkin Spice Lattes! Trees changing colors! Scarves! A newTaylor Swift album (probably)! Fall is basically everyone's favorite season. Sorry, Spring. Try having leaves that crunch under our boots and we might like you more.
10. Football season is almost there!
Yeah, we know we complained about this just a second ago, but August does mean the official start of the new NFL season, and the start of new Fantasy Football seasons. Even though September is when things actually get real, the calendar flipping the August means that summer is ending (in a good way) and football is back!
11. New TV is right around the corner.
Hope your DVR got some rest this summer because August has plenty of premiere dates for new and returning shows. Yes, most of the good ones start up in September but every day of August that passes by means you are one step closer to more Scandal, more Good Wife and more Homeland. Or whatever it is you kids are watching these days.
12. Back to school shopping!
Admit it. The smell of new folders, notebooks and pencils still makes you weak in the knees, even if you're in college and only use your laptop. Working in the real world? Go back to school shopping anyway. Anyone who judges you for using a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper to organize your meeting notes is just jealous! Sorry, we can't hear you over the loud velcro sound of our Trapper Keeper opening up.