As Dr. Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling has hooked up with her fair share of dudes.
In real life, however, the sitcom creator is far less promiscuous. "You have a lot of sex on your show. Is that because you want to talk about sex a lot?" Chelsea Handler asked on Monday's Chelsea Lately.
"I have that personality where I was such a nerd—I am such a nerd—that I can only enjoy those situations looking out inside. I'd be dead if I lived the life of my character," Kaling joked. "She drinks and dates like a party animal. She's like Lindsay Lohan's sex life, but she's a doctor. It's a TV show—that's why it works like that—but it's kind of fun because I don't live that life."
Handler fired back, "Why don't you live that life?"
"We have to run our shows and..." the TV star, before Handler cut her off and said, "I live that life!"
"Do you really?" Kaling asked.
"Are you kidding? I'm having sex with different people in different countries. It's amazing. I thought it would be easier to have sex with people in my country, but actually it's harder because they think that I'm going to talk about them or make fun of them if they don't perform well, so I go abroad," the Uganda Be Kidding Me author said. "You should take advantage of it."
Kaling is less adventurous: "My wild night is I drink [an inch] of whiskey and watch 15 minutes of Walking Dead, and then I'm like, 'This is too much for me! I'm too stimulated.' And I go to sleep."
Unlike the character she plays—or Handler, for that matter—Kaling prefers to take things slow. Unfortunately, the men she meets don't always feel the same way. "The problem with kissing, when you're older than 16, you can't kiss a guy for like two hours, which is like what I would want to do, because at a certain point, they're like, 'What is this leading to?'" she said. "And I'm like, 'That's it!'"
In a perfect world, Kaling added, "I could kiss a guy for 90 minutes and be like, 'That was great!'"