Mock Tom Cruise at your own risk.
According to the 2006 edition of Forbes magazine's Celebrity 100 rankings, Cruise is the most powerful famous person of all.
Or, at least he was. The Forbes list, released Thursday, looks at a celebrity's earnings and media appearances over the last 12 months, traditionally June to June.
And from last June to this June, Cruise was a headline grabber, first for getting engaged to Katie Holmes, then for having a baby with Katie Holmes and occasionally for debating postpartum depression with Brooke Shields. He also starred in two new movies, one of which, War of the Worlds, released last June, brought him a $67 million cut, Forbes said.
Cruise's latest movie, Mission: Impossible III, in theaters since May, has made $329 million worldwide through last weekend, according to BoxOfficeMojo.com. But since that gross isn't as gross as War of the World's ($591 million worldwide), there has been speculation that the couch-jumping, Suri-siring "TomKat" persona has diminished the Cruise brand.
Last month, Paramount exec Rob Moore, whose studio released M:I:III, conceded to the Associated Press that it was a concern that the press was writing more about Cruise's personal life than his movies.
The Forbes list serves as a reminder that all powerful celebrities, not just Cruise, experience both power surges and power outages.
Last year, for instance, Mel Gibson ranked third on the Forbes 100. The year before that, he ranked first. This year, he didn't rank at all. (He also didn't have a new movie out.)
Julia Roberts fell from 38th in 2005, to nowhere in 2006--the price one pays for doing theater.
Cruise himself zoomed from 10th to first, toppling 2005 champ Oprah Winfrey. The talk queen fell to third. She also made an estimated $225 million, so sympathy cards are not necessary.
Names and acts who were new to this year's Top 10: the Rolling Stones (second); U2 (fourth); satellite-radio enthusiast Howard Stern (seventh); rapper 50 Cent (eighth); the cast of The Sopranos (ninth); and The Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown (10th).
Other Top 10 holdovers from 2005 were golfer Tiger Woods (down from second to fifth) and mogul Steven Spielberg (staying put in the sixth slot).
Among top earners, Cruise's estimated $67 million made him the highest-paid actor. Jodie Foster was the highest-paid actress, with $27 million more in the bank. (Overall, Foster was determined to be the 54th most powerful celebrity, sandwiched between soccer star Ronaldinho and comedian Ray Romano.)
Movie stars seemed to be working for spare change compared to Spielberg and Stern. According to Forbes, the former made $332 million, more than anybody else on the list; the latter made $302 million, more than anybody else except Spielberg.
U2 ($110 million) took honors as the highest-paid music act. Jerry Seinfeld ($100 million) was designated as the highest-paid comedian, but only the 28th most powerful celebrity.
Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, meanwhile, have something new in common--they tied for 35th on the power rankings. Aniston made more money than Jolie, $18 million to $14 million. Coming in at 20th on the power list, Brad Pitt maintained a safe distance from the two women. His earnings were estimated at $25 million.
Elsewhere, American Idol compatriots Simon Cowell (29th) and Ryan Seacrest (88th) made their debuts on the list. Cowell's earnings were put at $43 million, Seacrest's at $12 million.
Simple Life costars Paris Hilton (56th) and Nicole Richie (95th) were present and accounted for; Lindsay Lohan (52nd in 2005) was not.
In their spare time, Forbes' researchers did their annual inventory of dead-but-living-large celebrities. Among those featured, Elvis Presley had the biggest year, pulling in $52 million, or about $2 million a year for every year he's been sighted at fast-food restaurants the world over. Nirvana rocker Kurt Cobain, deceased since 1994, gave Elvis a scare, except not really since Elvis is dead, with $50 million. Baby Einstein namesake Albert Einstein raked in an estimated $20 million, almost three times as much as Marilyn Monroe ($8 million), who belatedly learned that it pays to know the theory of relativity.
As for Mr. Cruise's intended bride? Katie Holmes didn't muster the power to crack the living celebrities' Top 100.
The complete findings of the Forbes Celebrity 100 will be published in the magazine's new issue, due out Friday and is online at Forbes.com/celebrity100.
Here's a rundown of the top 10 and their respective earnings:
1. Tom Cruise, $67 million
2. Rolling Stones, $90 million
3. Oprah Winfrey, $225 million
4. U2, $110 million
5. Tiger Woods, $90 million
6. Steven Spielberg, $332 million
7. Howard Stern, $302 million
8. 50 Cent, $41 million
9. Cast of The Sopranos, $52 million
10. Dan Brown, $88 million