Kanye West is going "kid-friendly."
Kind of. Maybe? On Late Night, ‘Ye said his daughter, North West, has inspired him to create "artistic, intellectual, kid-friendly songs." Then he said something about nudity on European TV and Quentin Tarantino and we got a bit confused.
But kid-friendly Kanye West music could be fun and interesting (and different: His recent remix of Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love" talked about getting someone's mouth pregnant. No bueno for his toddler demographic!) So we're remixing some of our favorite Kanye songs to make them suitable for the diaper crowd.
We were inspired by this "N----s in Paris" remix from the kids...
Kidz Bop Niggas in Paris: What?s oodle, my noodle? What?s toaster, my strudel? What?s drawing, my doodle? What?s that puppy, a poodle?? Fill Werrell (@FillWerrell) February 12, 2012
...and went from there!
For the much younger audience (infant to pre-K), these lyrics will resonate:
You know what the Midwest is?
Young & Restless
Where restless (N----S) might snatch your necklace
And next these (N----S) might jack your Lexus
Somebody tell these (N----S) who Kanye West is
Becomes a bedtime lullaby...
You know when naptime is?
Young and restless
Where restless (BABIES) will sleep with blankies
And next these (BABIES) might suck a binky
Somebody tell these (BABIES) who Kanye West be
[Just because they're babies doesn't mean they shouldn't know who Kanye West is.]
She take my money when I'm in need
Yeah she's a trifling friend indeed
Oh she's a gold digger way over town
That digs on me
Becomes an ode to mom (mom in this case is Kim Kardashian, just FYI)...
She gives me snacks when I'm hungry
Yeah she's a wonderful mom indeed
Oh she's my mommy all day long
She loves on me
As North grows older, she'll want more mature music, that isn't all about mommy.
"The New Workout Plan":
It's a party tonight and ooh she's so excited
Tell me who's invited: you, your friends and my d------ck
What's scary to me is Henny makes girls look like Halle Berry to me
So excuse me miss, I forgot your name
Thank you, God bless you, good night I came.
Becomes an anthem about a pirate-themed b'day party!
There's a party today and ooh she's so excited
Tell me who's invited: you, your mom and a piiiiiirate
What's yummy to me is birthday cake always tastes so sugary
Now I got to go, gift bag is cool
Thank you, God bless you, see you in school.
Argggggh, hope ye' hard a great time at the party, North!
The system broken, the school's closed, the prison's open
We ain't got nothing to lose motherf--ker we rollin',
Huh? motherf--ker we rollin'
With some light skinned girls and some Kelly Rowland's
In this white man's world we the ones chosen
So goodnight cruel world I'll see you in the mornin',
Huh? I see you in the mornin'
Becomes a song about snow days! Everybody loves snow days!
It's Christmas season, the school's closed, the snow fallin'
We ain't got nothing to do, surprise snow days are ballin'
Huh? Surprise snow days are ballin'
No class to learn about the country Poland
In this white winter we the ones chosen
Hope I get another snow day t'morrow mornin',
Huh? Snow day tomorrow mornin'
This easily could have been a song from Frozen, don't you think?
Can't wait to hear the new music, ‘Ye! Hopefully it's better than ours! Because we are horrible rappers!