Woody Allen may not be one for these award shows, but his BFF Diane Keaton, who starred in his 1977 film Annie Hall, sure had a lot to say in his place.
The actress, dressed in true Woody fashion with a suit and black-rimmed glasses, accepted Allen's Cecil B. DeMille's honor in Allen's place at the 2014 Golden Globes tonight, and offered a speech that was full of admiration, curse words and even a little song!
"I think it's safe to say that Woody Allen is an anomaly. He's made 74 movies in 48 years. He's directed them, he's starred in them, he's produced them and, of course, he's written them. He's written all of them, every one. The feature, for me anyway, that sets Woody's writing apart are the voices of four decades of unforgettable female characters starting with La-Dee-Da Annie Hall all the way through to Cate Blanchett's beautiful performance in Blue Jasmine.
"It's kinda hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that 179 of the world's most captivating actresses have appeared in Woody's films and there's a reason for this. The reason is they wanted to. They wanted to because Woody's women can't be compartmentalized, right? I mean, they struggle, they love, they fall apart, they dominate, they're funny, they're flawed. They are, in fact, the hallmark of Woody's work. But what's even more remarkable is that absolutely nothing links these unforgettable characters from the fact that they came from the mind of Woody Allen. And there you have it."
Keaton continues, "The same mind that summed up the contribution to filmmaking with this remark, ‘One of the nice things about writing or any art, is if the thing's real, it kinda lives. All the success over it or the rejection never really matters because in the end, the thing will survive, or not survive, on its merits. Immortality via art is no big deal. François Truffaut died. His films live on. But that's not much help to François Truffaut. As I've said many times, rather than live in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.'"
Keaton adds, "We don't often associate people in show business with friendship and maybe that's because when we make these movies, we find ourselves in these intensely intimate situations with all these really remarkable people. And, for me anyway, these encounters, while wonderful, rarely become 45-year friendships. It kinda breaks my heart that I've known Woody for such a long time, but it also fills me with pride and affection and even love. If Woody saw this he'd say, ‘Get the hook and get her off the [bleep] stage. [Bleep...bleep...bleep...bleep].'"
Yeah, we wish we knew what she was saying, too. She ended her speech with a nice song that you might know.
"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle is round, it has no end. That's how long you're going to be my friend."