Spoiler Alert! Do not continue reading unless you've watched American Horror Story's latest episode. We're spelling out all of the latest happenings and will hex all those who complain about being spoiled in the comments!
Happy Halloween, witches!
American Horror Story: Coven celebrated the spooky holiday a day early with a truly fitting outing that left us creeped out and dying for more. Halloween has become a two-episode tradition for the FX anthology series and Coven's "Fearful Pranks Ensue" did not disappoint as the war between the Salem witches and the voodoo witches really started to heat up, we learned just how creepy Spalding (Denis O'Hare) really is and the Council finally made its highly anticipated debut.
Plus, a new villain was introduced and it's someone very close to one of our main witches and series took a page out of The Walking Dead's playbook...
1. It's War: The truce between the Salem witches and the voodoo witches is over! Why? After the Minotaur almost killed Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe), Fiona (Jessica Lange) decided to send Marie (Angela Bassett) a message: Her lover's head in a box. Cold-blooded! And through she brokered the peace treaty between the two factions decades earlier, Marie is out for revenge, raising the dead from their graves to attack Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies. Oh, and three of those zombies just happen to be Madame LaLaurie's (Kathy Bates) daughters that Marie murdered back in the day. Game on, witches!
2. Fiona's Line of the Night: "Tonight I'm going to let the whole world in and get a good look at me. Who's the baddest witch in town?" Role. Model. Status.
3. Ladykiller: Thought Cordelia's (Sarah Paulson) husband Hank (Josh Hamilton) as too good to be true? That's because he is! After meeting up with Kaley (Welcome back, Alexandra Breckenridge), a pretty redhead he met online and indulging in some pretty intense sexy-times, Hank took out a gun and shot her in the head. Worst date ever.
4. Guys and Dolls: As if hugging scarecrows and having tea parties with dolls wasn't creepy enough, we learned how truly disturbed Spalding is when it's revealed he's keeping Madison's (Emma Roberts) body in his room and added her to his collection of dolls. Excuse us while we go take a million showers.
5. Silent Treatment: In a flashback to 1971, we learn Spalding actually cut off his own tongue to protect Fiona as Myrtle (Frances Conroy) but a spell on his tongue that would render him incapable of lying aka he would be forced to reveal that Fiona killed the former Supreme. Just before slicing off his own tongue, he told her, "These are my last words, Ms. Fiona: I have always loved you."
6. The Witch Hunt Begins: We finally got to learn more about the mysterious witch Council, meeting its three members after Nan (Jamie Brewer) called them when she could no longer hear Madison's thoughts. In addition to Myrtle, Fiona's longtime rival from their days as students at the school (see above tongue-cutting), the severe and stern Pembroke and the flamboyant writer Quentin, whom Fiona affectionately calls a "vicious old queen," make up the Council, which only "assembles only under the gravest circumstances." Through their introduction, we learn that the penalty for killing a Salem witch is death by fire and that the last time a witch was burned at the stake was in 1926. Myrtle, however, is hoping to change that soon. "I've got a book of matches in my pocket and I'm just dying to light this fire," she told Fiona.
7. Queen Bee Memories: How hilariously awesome was the Mean Girls-esque montage of everyone being questioned by the Council about Madison? We particularly enjoyed Queenie's description of the party girl: "Madison Mongtomery is a stone cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big d--ks and trouble. If she's dead it's probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a hand job or something."
8. Burnt to a Crisp: Remember how we were waiting for Cordelia's storyline to really get going? Well, the wait is over as not only was her husband revealed to be a twisted killer, but a hooded figure attacked her in the bathroom at the end of the hour, throwing a potion on her face that immediately started burning her. Yeah, we're thinking fertility is no longer at the top of Cordelia's list of issues.
9. The Walking Dead: As for our FrankenKyle (Evan Peters), he's out and about amongst unsuspecting trick-or-treaters after killing his mother in last week's episode. After finally realizing bringing Kyle back to life probably wasn't the best idea, Zoe decided to kill him by putting rat poison in his food. But when she went to serve him his last meal, he'd left the house, so hide ya kids, hide ya wives, New Orleans! (P.S. Did anyone else catch the subtle nod to Peters' season one character Tate Langdon with the skeleton sitting in the car that Zoe locks eyes with?!)
10. The Supreme Search Continues: Oops, Fiona's blunder! It's revealed that there is no way Madison could've been the next Supreme as she had a heart murmur and a Supreme has glowing health. Hey, haven't you ever made a mistake?!
11. Mother-Daughter Bonding: Before having her face burned off (rough twist, girl!), we actually got to see Fiona and Cordelia share a nice moment at a bar. Of course, a nice moment for them consisted of taking shots and playing a game in order to tell each other the truth (like why Fiona hates Hank). And when Cordelia told her mother, "You'll make a bad girl of me yet," it felt pretty ominous, no?
What did you think of American Horror Story's Halloween episode? Who do you think attacked Cordelia? Sound off in the comments!