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    Mum's (Not) the Word!

    Jennifer Lopez doesn’t look preggers, but her actions were strangely full of it at a recent big do, how odd! At least Joey Lawrence was willing to wax about the Shanna-and-Paris spat and the romance rumblings about one of his costars and  Eva Longoria!  Woo-friggin’-hoo!
    DJ AM Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com
    Has our darling Nicole Richie's ol' buzzed boy, DJ AM, moved on to a fuller femme? Maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Nic 'n' DJ busted a while back, but since we just letcha know yesterday that Nicole 'n' Paris were boy-gabbing, only fair to fill ya in on what one of those ex dudes is up to himself, right? Yep: Urth Caffé in T-town, Oct. 11, for lunchy-poo. Mr. D. was being such the gentlemen with...find out tomorrow! (I'm a bitch, never a gent.) Oh, and tomorrow, we'll also gab on Paris' recycled-stud front, oh, it's all too-too! Okay, calm down. J.Lo sure did. Read on:
    Jennifer Lopez Steve Granitz/WireImage.com
    At the Noche de Niños Gala Saturday night, the two biggest stars, presenter Jennifer Lopez and honoree Johnny Depp, disappointed us press types in a big, bummin' way. Johnny Depp, always the private dude, didn't even chance the carpet, even though he was winning an award.
    Johnny Depp Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

    At least J.Lo deigned to walk the carpet, sans that hubby of hers who looks like he's a professional waiter, what'shisname, Marc Anthony? Now, the Latina diva looked supersvelte in a belted black dress and decidedly unpreggers (as I'm sure you wanted to know and Ms. L. didn't want us to say), despite all those rumors to the contrary of late. And it wasn't J.L.'s bod that had everyone on the carpet talkin', it was her early Halloween makeup.

    The normally gorgeous gal had on bright green eye shadow, clumpy tarantula-like lashes and über-pale lipstick. Babe, what gives? Are your less than attractive hub-unit's ways rubbin' off on you or something?

    (Like the above fashion woulda happened with Diddy, hardly.)

    Joey Lawrence Steve Granitz/Wireimage.com

    Joey Lawrence, from Dancing with the Stars, let's hope, can be counted on for more scintillating puss-output:

    Now, I don't TiVo that par-tick show (forgive me, Lisa, you know I lurve ya!), but I was curious if Mr. L. could shed some light on the Shanna vs. Paris sitch, since Ms. Moakler was a former contestant on said show.

    "It's pretty crazy," mused the Joester. "I mean, she's a sweet lady, so something must have gone down pretty bad to get her that angry."

    Hmmm. So, he's sayin' she did hit P., I wonder? 'Cause Shanna is swearin' she didn't and that it was Stavros who started all this nonsense. J.L. wouldn't elaborate, how very J.Lo of him.

    Eva Longoria Gregg DeGuire/WireImage.com

    Hey, also, Shan-doll ain't the only Dancing contestant makin' scandalous headlines these days. See, some tabs were sayin' Mario Lopez and Eva Longoria were gettin' cozy after the bustup rumors about her and Tony Parker hit. Any truth to those?

    "As far as he's concerned, no, so we'll just leave it at that," Joey blurted, (not) somewhat mysteriously. What about on Eva's end? Did he not mention that part on purpose? Oy, all this crapola makes my head hurt. Plus, it seems as if Tony and Eva are so happy together in France now, so let's let sleeping (and horny) Pomeranians lie, shall we?

    Christina Ricci Aaron Lynett/ZUMApress.com

    Christina Ricci and Adam Goldberg, cozy-wozy, at the ArcLight, Hollywood, Saturday night after a showing of Helen Mirren's The Queen. C.R., who's practically looking like some sort of coiffure creature from outer space (she's so thin, she's just one long ponytail, no bod, at this point), was decidedly more animated than...

    Laura Linney, entirely makeup free, who had that Robert De Niro you-lookin'-at-me chilliness to her slightly lumpy puss. Oh, speaking of wan 'n' needing (yet another) working over, let's check in on...

    Pat O'Brien, lookin' simply awful, also at the ArcLight a li'l later. 1:15 peeyem on Sunday. "He really, and I mean really, looked bad," blabbed my movie-going spy. Time for some Botox, babe? P.B. was with his blond g-f and looking rather monochromatic in tan pants and a tan jacket. Another oddball out and about terrible T-town was...

    Andy Dick, multitasking on Santa Monica Blvd. The Dickster was carrying a suitcase and chatting on his cell rather loudly in front of the Starbucks just west of La Cienega, which is a total homo haunt, like, fer sure. A.D. was wearing jeans and a tee, pretty normal clothes for such a kook, doncha think? Strollin' the streets of another bobbin' environ was...

    Bono Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com

    Bono, U2 frontman and heavy-hittin' humanitarian, exiting the San Remo, where he prolly has a pad. InWhySee. Bono was dressed in black and "looking paunchy," according to Desk Waistline. B. was with a blond woman who wasn't his wife, but no worries. She seemed like a business associate, insists my source. Whew! A wife and hubby (of sorts) steppin' out elsewhere included...

    Star Jones Reynolds and Al Reynolds, sunning themselves in South Beach. The semi-gruesome twosome was on hand to celebrate their bud Russell Simmons' B-day at Lucky Strike Lanes. How very ball-friendly. Not striking out nearby was...

    Adrian Grenier and 15 of his bestest buds getting their grub at Miami's Sagamore before heading to SkyBar to sip, strut, goose and be seen. In decidedly less hip locales was...

    Mark Montano Rabbani and Solimene Photography/WireImage.com

    Mark Montano, TLC's semi-handsome designer, at Washington Dulles Airport. Apparently, the man makes camo pants look neat and tidy. "He's as charming, personable and well-groomed in person as he is on TV!" gushed my terminal tattler. M.M. was hangin' with a bunch o' artsy-lookin' buds, headed into the airport restaurant for a cold one, which just made his fans hotter. Oh, please, doesn't anybody get some at home anymore? Don't answer that.

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