If you haven't seen episode five of Lost, "The Constant," stay right where you are. If you have, then by all means, set your device to 2.342, dial up 7964-893 and click in for a discussion on what it all means and what's next...
Loved. Every. Minute. That's all I can say about tonight's Lost, which did seem daunting at first. (Time travel? Time delays? Physics? Amnesia? Rodents? Ay!) But I have to admit, this was one of my all-time favorite episodes, what with the undying love business and this indisputable fact: Henry Ian Cusick can frakking act, brotha. Plus, I can't believe I ever doubted this show would have a Christmas miracle. You bastards. You get us every time. God bless you, every one. Really, another brilliant outing of Lost.
WHAT WE LEARNED
Forget Skate or Jate: Sorry, but it seems 100 percent obvious after tonight's episode that the truly unbeatable and indisputable love story on Lost is not that love polygon so many of you (and by "you," I mean "I") have obsessed over for so long, but rather Desmond and Penny. Denny, Pesmond, whatever you want to call yourselves, you had us all at "constant" and you complete this show.
Welcome to My Constant Obsession: Maybe it's because I'm a sentimental newlywed, but I love that Penelope is Desmond's constant. That it's the two of them bound together throughout time and space, well...it's making me a little verklempt. I mean, there's not enough "awww" in the world to convey the genuinely romantic tendencies of this series. Anybody else—show of hands now—think this series has more than one pair of binary stars spinning around each other forever? Okay. That's enough poetic self-indulgence for one Redux...I have to go watch Girlicious now, and get all this highfalutin love stuff off me.
Eloise of Oxford: Wow, the sky turned purple for Eloise, just like it did for the Islanders. And why? So, Faraday or the Island gods can "unstick...time." Flashbacks and flash-forwards are awfully convenient to have on hand. Now, is the Island the source of this magic, or has it been engineered to harness something already in the universe? Food for thought.
Island Mythology: The Black Rock!! Tovard Hanso!! Journal of the first mate!! Charles Widmore!! Global conspiracies! I don't know what all that stuff from the auction scene means, but it warrants double exclamation points for sure!! Maybe even triple!!! And here's the CliffsNotes for you trying to keep up: Penelope's dad, who hates Desmond and who is entangled in the around-the-world trip that got Des stuck on the Island in the first place, is buying a book that relates to the Black Rock, which is the marooned ship that now sits in the middle of the jungle on the Island and that—according to the Lost Experience last year—was owned and operated by Magnus Hanso, as in the Hansos of Hanso Foundation fame, the Hanso Foundation being the shady philanthropic organization that owned and operated the Dharma Initiative in the 1970s.
Two Nitpicks—Sorry, Have to Have Them: Why'd it take Penny so long to answer the damn phone? Dramatic effect? And is it just me, or was Desmond David Hume the world's oldest army private? Hot, but wrinkly.
Ring, Ring...Wait a Minute, Ring?! During the Christmas Eve call, Penny had a ring on one of her ring fingers, but it was on her right hand, right? So, please, someone tell me that the peeps across the Pond do not wear wedding rings on their right hands, or a certain sappy chick you know may collapse into a blubbery mess.
Easter Egg Hunt: Thanks to email-inner Brian for this jewel: "Just wanted to make sure you know that Eko's stick said 'Look north, John 3:05' and that Frank's heading was North 305." Zoinks!
WHAT LIES AHEAD
—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin