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Real-World Harry Potter Reading List Published: Hogwarts Would Totally Approve!

by John Boone Tue., Mar. 19, 2013 3:18 PM PDT

Warner Bros.

Wondering what all those kids at Hogwarts are reading? According to Hermione Emma Watson, it ain't Fifty Shades of Grey, so Avada Kedavra that crap outta here!

But if you're still role-playing Harry Potter—and why wouldn't you be?—then you're in luck: Jesse Galef, one half of "the world's #1 brother-sister blog about rationality, science, and philosophy" has compiled a list of what each Hogwarts house might read:

Speaking of the Fifty Shades movie, who should play Anastasia Steele?

Gryffindors:

measureofdoubt; Warner Bros.

The site stresses their Gryffindor selection focuses on "combat, ethics, and democracy," with such titles as A Game of Thrones and The Art of War. We say: You're going to get a passing grade based on your quidditch skills, so just watch some TV instead—you know Game of Thrones is a TV show now, right?

Hufflepuffs:

measureofdoubt; Warner Bros.

Who knew Hufflepuffs could even read?! Like, books, that is, not auras and stuff. But, for this list, Galef chose books of "productivity, happiness, and the game theory of cooperation," including The Princess Bride and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. We say: Can you still get a subscription to Highlights?

Ravenclaws:

measureofdoubt; Warner Bros.

Ravenclaws specialize in "philosophy of mind, cognitive science, and mathematics" so the book selection includes The Phantom Tollbooth and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy along with lots (and we mean lots) of philosophy books. We say: Ugh, too many words. You like math? Do a sudoku.

Slytherins:

measureofdoubt; Warner Bros.

Those devilish badasses of Slytherin (Oh, did we mention? We're probably in Slytherin) excel in "persuasion, rhetoric, and political machination," according to Galef, who chose How to Win Every Argument and Watchmen, among others. We say: Who has time to read? Aren't all teh Slytherins too busy being awesome.

And remember, as every good student already knows, there's probably SparkNotes for all of these!

Blast from the past: Check out the Harry Potter kids then and now!