It's no wonder Jason London looked a little dazed and confused when he posed for his mug shot.
The 40-year-old actor, who has since taken to Twitter to deny the "crap" being reported, was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of assault and disorderly conduct outside a Scottsdale, Ariz., bar after allegedly sneezing on and then slugging a fellow patron.
What, no gesundheit?
But the fun apparently didn't end there.
According to the police report obtained by E! News, London, showing "extreme signs of alcohol impairment," started cursing at the paramedics who were trying to assess him for injuries after the purported altercation inside the Martini Ranch.
Officer D. Ford states in the report that London tried to shove another officer, who then kneed the actor's outer right thigh to get him to sit down. After London had ultimately refused medical treatment, Ford says that he tried to question the Dazed & Confused star, to which he replied, "F--k you! You won't do s--t for me, you f--king hillbilly!"
"I know what you f--king are! F--k you; I want to go home!" London reportedly continued after Ford identified himself as a police officer.
Detailing their ride to the police station, Ford states that London continued to rant, asking him if he liked being a cop and, when the officer didn't answer, saying, "Guess what, f----t? I f--king love this! I f--king own you guys so hard. I'm rich and a motherf--king famous actor! F--king look me up, bitch!"
Ford then states in the report that he "looked back at him just in time for him to lean to the left and defecate in his pants. Then [London] said, 'I told you that I'm happy as s--t!'"
When he tried to question London at the stadium, Ford states, the actor flipped him off with both hands, stuck his tongue out and, asked if he understood his rights, said, "I'm a f--king movie star, I know what the f--k to do!"
Also per the police report, Ford called London's wife, Sophia, to inform her of her husband's arrest, to which she replied, "I know he's an a--hole when he drinks," and insisted that he would never assault anyone on purpose.
London was cited for assault and disorderly conduct and released early Monday morning—and today he denied via Twitter the, er, "crap" that TMZ, which was first to break the news, reported about his arrest.
"Guys, the TMZ report is a total f--king lie," he tweetedthis afternoon. "I got jumped by three 250 pound bouncers. They knocked me out and beat me for several minutes.
"I would neversay or do the crap they are reporting. Have faith in me. The truth will come out and you will see. Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and had me jumped. My wife was in the next room, had no idea what even happened. I hate Arizona...Wait till you see the real pictures. I have a right orbital fracture and sinus fracture. The truth will win."