ABC/TIM OGIERLet's hope Ricky Gervais wins an Emmy next year for his appearance on this year's Emmys. So obviously the real star of the show every moment he was onscreen; the sarcastic Brit had more presence than all five hosts (save for Seacrest, 'course, not like we're supposed to say that). Who wants to start the petition to make Gervie next year's host? R.G. has already made a living portraying people so similar to himself, which is usually enough to make everyone chuckle into hysterics.
"I don't do accents, I don't wear wigs," Rick told us right before doing the show Sunday night. "The thing is, if you wear a wig or makeup, you have to wake up early, and I'm staying in bed, so I use this hair, this face and this accent. I don't care if it works or not, but I'm not going out of my way for anyone."
So besides entertaining on Emmys night, what are British people better at than Americans? Rick-hon thought for a sec: "In the Olympics we [win] all the posh sports. Like rowing and equestrian—the things you have to be born into privilege to be able to start." Funny, in America, if you're born into privilege, there's no time to learn any sports since you're too busy filming your own reality show. Très amusing.
Unforch, Ricky didn't win against Paul Giamatti's John Adams, but the bloke's got other accomplishments where it matters: "I cowrote a song with [Extras guest star] David Bowie, that's not bad is it?" R.G. wondered. "I think John Lennon did as well. Me and John Lennon. I'm the same as John Lennon."
In honor of Gervais' stealing the whole damn show, here are some other quotes from our Emmy-weekend vault we just couldn't keep to ourselves:
"I'm horrified. I'm absolutely horrified. I have daughters and they were watching...the one with Britney Spears' sister. And I was like, 'Oh my god, she's 7, what is she watching?' It's a bit of a nightmare for me."
—Overprotective mom Joely Fisher dishing about teen TV today
"It's not gonna get bigger; in fact, I think it humbled him a bit. I think he's really overwhelmed by how big this is."
—Entourage's Rex Lee on Jeremy Piven's Emmy-inflated ego
"I said to him while we were on the set: I just want to make sure that it's nothing like Ari Gold, and he looked at me like I was speaking Sanskrit. They don't have television in the Madonna/Guy Ritchie household, so he had no idea what I was talking about. I said Ari Gold and he thought I was talking about a Passover buddy."
—Jeremy Piven, on his role in Ritchie's new flick Rocknrolla
"Meryl Streep. That's a good answer, right?"
—Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on which celeb should guest on the Emmy-winning drama. We're so effin' predictable, we woulda said Britney
"Christ, I dunno. I can't even think, we've been everywhere. It's been one constant movement. One constant bowel movement."
—Billy Idol, when we inquired about his craziest rock-star story from his last tour
"To be totally honest with you, it's the 'Bridge to Nowhere' endless loop that I keep hearing. I keep hearing that, and Matt Damon's quotes...Matt Damon is just so incredibly talented and funny; I wish he was here right now so he could help me out."
—Piven, again, on the first thing that comes to mind when he hears the phrase "President Palin"
"I was shocked...and I started to cry a little bit when she told me, and I said 'I'm sorry I'm tearing up, it's not because I thought anything was going to happen to you because I know you're going to be fine; I just hate to think you're going to have to go through this.' She's a very spiritual person. She's very strong, and she got through it, and she's 100 percent."
—Emmy-winner Jean Smart on learning about Samantha Who? costar Christina Applegate's breast cancer
"I live in New York, and I have friends, for example, who are doing shows on Broadway, and are wondering how much the Broadway theater will dip down...It affects everyone; it's a scary time, with the stock market dip...We've come a long way from the Great Depression, and I think we'll be OK."
—Alec Baldwin, on balancing his win amidst a tragic weekend, from plane crashes to the economy
"I was very resistant to acknowledge there was a resemblance, and then my kid saw Sarah Palin on TV and said 'That's mommy.' Isn't that great?"
—Tina Fey, on looking like the running Republican veep
—Additional sass by Becky Bain and Taryn Ryder