Demi Moore

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Dear Ted:
There have been reports that Demi Moore is doing "great" after her hospital stay. Of course she's doing fine, her name is all over and everyone is talking about her…something that hasn't happened since her and Ashton Kutcher linked up. Is Demi just seeking attention or is she really that torn up about her breakup?

Dear Too Far:
Wow, Jackie, you think Demi would plan a breakdown (of sorts) just to land herself on tabloid covers? I'm sure some stars would sink that low, but Demi isn't one of ‘em. Really, I think the announcement of her divorce was getting her enough attention without adding a hospital stint to all the drama. And remember, it's not all about Ashton.

Dear Ted:
Is Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle the lovely Dakota Fanning? If not, has Chuck ever been in a publicized, long-term relationship?

Dear And It Ain't:
Sorry, S, but Chuck isn't dear Dakota. Think a bit older and way more adventurous. As for the relaysh part, nope, Charlotte seems to have shied away from romance…at least in the public eye.

Dear Ted:
OK, so I have a question about BVs in Hollywood's "Golden Age." Just like that Marine [Scotty Bowers] is doing with his recent X-rated tell-all about Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn, do you think that someday when the Toothy Tiles and Judas Jack-Offs are dead and gone that their BVs will be revealed?

Dear Golden Oldies:
Sure, someone may eventually name names when it comes to H'wood's closeted elite, but I'm still holding out hope that Toothy will come out himself before he kicks the bucket. As for Judas? Wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if someone let slip his secret long, long before he died.

Dear Ted:
What do you make of the news of Taylor Lautner being dumped from his movie, Stretch Armstrong? Should he be afraid?

Dear Hold On:
He wasn't dropped from the gig, per se. At least no one has said that so far. Sure, his box-office blunder Abduction should probably have some suits worrying, but Tay's departure from his latest flick was blamed on scheduling conflicts. Hm, wonder what's occupying all his time (besides, of course, ogling over all those Cirque du Soleil shows).

Dear Ted:
Is Priscilla Desert finished with being everyone's go-to beard? Was Priscilla really in on the beard plan from the beginning or did she not realize she was bearding? I could see her being pretty naive. Thanks a bunch! 

Dear Soaking Wet:
For the time being, yes, it looks like Prissy is done faking it. As for why she signed on for the bearding biz in the first place, let's just say Ms. Desert's hetero canoodling didn't go as well as planned. It actually went horribly badly, Beth.

Dear Ted:
One last suggestion: The late, great Kevyn Aucoin transformed Christina Ricci into Elizabeth Taylor once. Since she is no longer above TV gigs, do you think she is worthy of the role?

Dear Small Screen Queen:
If I'm not mistaken, it was actually Winona Ryder that got the Liz Taylor transformation, while Ricci got done up as Édith Piaf. But that aside, I don't actually hate the idea of Christina taking a hiatus from the friendly skies to take on the Lifetime biopic. C.R. is a Vice star, after all, and we all know Liz is practically an honorary Blind Vice legend!

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