Finally, an awards show that's about the actors!
Now thespians Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Tina Fey can finally get some attention. They are all part of the union the Screen Actors Guild—and that's why they're part of the awards extravaganza known as the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
So what was the best, worst and most incredibly paradigm-shifting events that transpired? Don't hold back any longer—read on!
Coldest Cold Opening: As much as the now-expected "How I became an actor" monologues are the way the SAG Award show distinguishes itself, we're not sure any event should open with Jon Cryer revealing that his decision to choose acting over becoming an astronaut all came down to not wanting to soil himself. Little did he know he'd later work with Charlie Sheen.
Best Revelation: Christopher Plummer revealing that acting is "world's second oldest profession." The first? Talent agents, of course.
Worst Revelation: Mexican actor Demián Bechir said he came to New York and wanted to be "a taxi driver like Robert De Niro," which wouldn't disturb us as much if he'd said he wanted to be "an actor" like De Niro.
Deepest Moment: Based solely on the five-second clip from Warrior, we think Nick Nolte deserves a science award simply for discovering a new, cavernously low register for the human voice. It's like it had its own echo!
Know Your Audience, The Best: The Bridesmaids trifecta of Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy and Maya Rudolph showed up and delivered some director-based drinking comedy involving Martin Scorsese, which pretty much killed.
Know Your Audience, The Worst: In front of a roomful of amazing comic females, dear Dick Van Dyke praised his old pal Mary Tyler Moore as being one of the few women who could be both funny and feminine. You got that, Wiig, McCarthy, Rudolph, Octavia Spencer, Tina Fey, Bérénice Beho...?
Unseen Actors Guild: Both Kate Winslet and Paul Giamatti won awards but missed the show, but gave Armie Hammer a chance to ad-lib himself into one of the better ad-libs of the night.
But the Best Ad-Lib: Tina Fey held Steve Buscemi's wineglass as he collected his award—and then downed the contents.
Sixth Sense of Humor: Alec Baldwin won his sixth consecutive award for his work on 30 Rock. Jack Donaghy would be so proud if only he hadn't already won seven of his own.
Most Gracious: Betty White received her award with the comment, "I think they made a terrible mistake."
Worst Joke: SAG president Ken Howard revealed a major union announcement, but we were unable to hear anything after his tone-deaf jape he made about the female AFTRA head, Roberta Riordan: "Roberta you're looking particularly lovely tonight. And I want you to know that in my entire adult life there is no woman, including my dear, departed mother, with whom I have spent so much time—none of which was in bed." Yeesh, now that's a union-buster.
Silence of the Ham: The Artist's Jean Dujardin seemed to be rendered speechless upon winning the Best Actor award for his work as a silent screen star.
Help Wanted: With the three big wins of The Help in the lead, supporting and ensemble categories, we have to wonder whether we may need to rethink our Oscar pool bets.