Three Birds, Who's Got the Stone?

Paris Hilton has some new ideas for television

We just came upon this terrifying bit of news:

Paris Hilton is hoping to team up with fellow tabloid targets Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan for a new reality show about their lives in the spotlight. The socialite wants to produce the two-hour special, which she hopes will include candid revelations from the stars.

Though, on second thought, this could be great.

Instead of spending every waking moment living in fear that the awful trail of woe surrounding this damnedable trifecta may suddenly, and without warning, invade our lives, now we can easily avoid the whole thing by inducing temporary blindness for just one two-hour period each week. OK, we're on board. No wonder she's an heiress.