What is in that Upper East Side water?!
That's all there really is to say after Gossip Girl's season-five premiere, where we had not one, but two pregnancies. Yes, that's right. The CW show, which tends to have most of its big reveals spoiled, shocked fans by having two of our Upper East Siders reveal they are with child.
Aside from pregnancy announcements, G.G. did what it does best: provide us with a fun, seductive escape. With half of the gang in sunny California schmoozing with celebs (or pretending to be them) and hanging out on Versace's yacht, this premiere was something that we felt the show lacked a little last season: straight-up fun.
WHAT WE LEARNED:
First Comes Baby in a Baby Carriage: After weeks of speculation, it was revealed that Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) and Blair (Leighton Meester) are pregnant. Man, that it going to be one hormonal penthouse! While there was some confusion as to whether or not Dorota was covering for Blair, executive producer Josh Safran confirms that everyone's favorite housekeeper is "actually pregnant." The father of Dorota's child is obviously no mystery (what up, Vanya?!), but the identity of Blair's baby daddy has yet to be revealed. It's either Prince Louis (Hugo Becker) or Chuck (Ed Westwick), and Safran says, "The audience will learn who the father is in the first half of the season." Either way, he also teases that, "Blair's pregnancy will definitely impact Chuck in a major way."
What the Chuck Is Chuck Up To?! It appears someone has decided the best way to forget about Blair's upcoming wedding is to go into daredevil mode. Chuck is clearly hiding his emotions behind his motorcycle helmet and trying anything and everything to feel anything at all, even if it puts his life in danger. While some of his exploits made us giggle (example: his short-lived career as a stuntman), they did inspire some awesome one-liners from Mr. Bass. "Even though it looks like he's a thrill-seeker here, that opens the door to a new avenue for him, a new way of life, which isn't what you've seen yet," Safran teases. "I think it is the only possible next step in the evolution of Chuck."
Blair Almost Dares to Dair: Blair was this close to running off to the Hamptons with Dan after thinking Louis would never choose her over his mother...and Dan was more than OK with that. (Don't lie, Dan and Blair fans. We know your hearts swelled when she pleaded, "Take me there.") When Louis showed up at the loft and confessed that he was helping Dan, Blair demanded to know why Dan was about to let her call off her engagement. Dan opted for silence rather than "three words, eight letters." Yes, Dan is in love with Blair, which will please Dair-lovers to no end and probably cause Chair fans to send angry tweets to the G.G. writers. ("Three words, eight letters" is what Blair demanded of Chuck in the season two premiere. He also wasn't able to say it.)
The Three Musketeers Invade Los Angeles: OK, how much fun was it watching Chuck, Nate (Chace Crawford) and Serena (Blake Lively) live it up together on the opposite coast? While Chuck has turned into a bit of a thrillseeker ("I'll try anything once"), Nate was busy doin' his thang (which is attracting cougars, obvi!) with Elizabeth Hurley's mysterious character Diana Payne, and Serena was excelling at her job as a production assistant. Our little girl is growing up, y'all!
This being Gossip Girl and all, crazy hijinks ensued in the form of a jealous coworker, Marshall, played by WWK favorite Ethan Peck. Yes, the show attempted to ruin Mr. Peck for us by making him a world-class jerk, but we understood his motives by episode's end. Sometimes it sucks to see the pretty new girl who hasn't worked for anything in her life walk in and take what you worked your whole life to earn. Woah, G.G. just went all middle-class woes on us. We think we need to sit down for a minute.
WHAT LIES AHEAD:
Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun... So how will Blair deal with the pregnancy? "Blair will try to hold on as best as she can alone and find that is not possible," Safran reveals. The show will handle the pregnancy realistically...or as least as realistically as a soap can. "All of the discussions and what it means and what your options are and what you can do, all of that stuff is definitely very much in the mix," Safran teases. "But I also believe Blair is engaged to be married and princesses are quite young...It isn't out of the realm of possibility to be pregnant. It's just a question of the complications that come with it."
Growing Pains: The theme of this season according to Safran is "growing up," with all of the characters "actually taking the first steps to who they actually are going to be." Fans who've felt that Nate has been without a storyline the past few seasons can rest assured that their boy will be in the eye of the storm in season five. 'His journey really relates the most to growing up and taking control of his life," Safran explains, adding that "he gets to have scenes with everybody" due to his entanglement with Diana Payne.
Dan vs. the Upper East Side? Fans can expect Dan's tell-all novel about the UES to cause major drama for Lonely Boy throughout the season. "Everyone does have a reaction to it and it's not necessarily the reaction that Dan expects them to have, but it's also not the reaction that they expect to have."
When asked if Dan will be dating around (though we don't think he has many relatives left to woo) or pining for Blair, Safran says, "Maybe neither, but he definitely has feelings for Blair." Hey, we'll take what we can get! The majority of Dan's storyline this season will center on the book, so "if the pining is an undercurrent or comes to the surface," it's still not the majority of his storyline. Sorry, Dair fans. Looks like you're in it for the long haul!
In the episode, Rufus chalks up the ending to one of Dan's chapters about Blair to "creative license," which begs the question: Is it something fans have already seen on-screen (like a certain kiss?) or maybe something we'll find out about later? "Maybe both," Safran answers cryptically. "That's really the right answer, which is weird."
Love Triangle...or Love Square? Though Dan clearly has feelings for Blair, don't expect the Pauper to be a major part of this romantic...shape. "I don't know if it's necessarily romantic with Dan and Blair, but the triangle in our minds is Chuck and Louis and Blair," Safran says. "Dan's role in it is sort of surprising and I think that he will both add to the Chair shippers and both detract for the Chair shippers, alternately." While we're totally fine with that, we just wish Louis wasn't so meh. Like yeah, he's nice and nice to look at, but there's nothing there.
It's your turn, readers! What did you think of the Gossip Girl premiere? Were you shocked by the double pregnancy twist? Are you excited to see our core group growing up a little bit? Who do you want to see Blair with: Chuck, Dan or Louis? Sound off in the comments!