Sure, there may come a time when Angelina Jolie can sit down for an interview with a magazine and not be asked about whether she and Brad Pitt plan to (a) marry, (b) procreate, (c) adopt or (d) all of the above.
But that time is not now.
Luckily, Jolie knows how to play the game, and answered all of these burning questions in the new issue of Vanity Fair, while ostensibly discussing her controversial (of course) writing and directorial debut, In the Land of Blood and Honey.
So, let's start at the top…
"No," she answered simply, when asked if she and Brad were planning on tying the knot anytime soon. Anticipating the next questions, she also offered up the following preemptive denials: "I'm not pregnant. I'm not adopting at the moment."
Why do we get the feeling the only part of that denial tabloids will pick up on is the "at the moment" part?
So just in case those weren't enough nails pounded into the casket, Jolie offered up one more to the magazine, this one after yet more rumors of an impending vow swap made the online rounds.
"Not to worry," she wrote in an email to the mag. "No secret wedding. Xxx."
Oddly enough, given all the scrutiny Jolie faces, it's a surprising admission when she tells the magazine that it's her latest professional endeavor, and not her personal life, that is causing her the most grief.
"I've never felt more exposed. My whole career, I've hidden behind other people's words. Now it's me talking. You feel ridiculous when you get something wrong," she said.
Though she does have the support of those closest to her, starting with Brad, whom she says approved of the script from the start.
"He took it on a trip, then called me and said, 'You know, honey, it's not that bad.'"
Now there's a pull quote for the movie poster if ever we heard one.
According to Jolie, Brad frequently visited the set and offered up support—or constructive criticism—to help the project along.
"Yeah, he'd come and say what he liked or what he didn't understand. Like any woman, I would listen to most of it and fight a few things. He's been so supportive. But it's hard to separate the person that loves you from the critic, so I don't think he's a fair judge."
That being said, there is one assessment she seems to be in full agreement on with Pitt.
"Brad thinks I'm going to be a nightmare," she said of her work on future movies. "I had such a good experience, he thinks I'm going to be impatient with directors, which I already am. I get impatient with people working on a film that have their head in their hands like it's the most complicated thing in the world."
As for what finally made Jolie take the plunge into writing and directing, she said that it was never her intention to do both, but she just couldn't part with the material—or trust it in the hands of another.
"I was always asked and always said no," she said of previous offers to direct. "I never wanted to. I don't focus on film much in my life. I like acting because you do it a few months, come home, and you're with your family, and you have an experience, and sometimes, if you're lucky, an adventure. But I've loved this process more than I've ever loved anything."
And that's despite the spate of bad press that followed the movie early on, when filming briefly stopped after concerns over the storyline—described as an abused woman who falls in love with her captor in war-torn Bosnia.
"That wasn't what it seemed," she explained. "It was just one person who was misinformed and never read the script."
Which means we might be seeing more of Angelina behind the camera.
"I hope so. I mean, I don't know if I have the confidence yet that I'm good at it. It still feels like a private thing, that little script sitting in my desk."
Speaking of private things, Angelina did reveal some tidbits about her globetrotting life with Brad and their six kids—starting with describing a recent day in the life.
"I hung out with the kids. Usually we have swim class in the morning for the twins, then art class. They boys got this crazy fish pedicure. It's one of those things you shouldn't talk about in an interview and yet...There are fish here that eat the dead skin off your feet. I thought it would be fun to send the boys...They were in hysterics.
"The rest of us hung out at the house. We have a nice house, and swim and paint and play with the turtle. There's a turtle."
Of course there is.