Summer is the time for guilty pleasures: page-turners on the beach by day and channel surfing at night. Why do our remote controls always stop on shows like Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and Big Brother?
So what if you don't have a perfect bikini bod—there's nothing like the cringe-worthy antics of reality stars to make you love yourself a little more.
So who topped our list of "unscripted" head-slappers this summer?
1. Jersey Shore Invades Italy: From Ronnie's rectal exam to Vinny and The Situation's violent fistfight and "bicurious" Deena's hookup with the Sitch's prospect, Jersey Shore's third season gave us so many head-slapping moments we suffered a mild concussion. We're still suffering...
2. Bentley Betrays The Bachelorette's Ashley: After tormenting and ridiculing a woman already so insecure she trusted in TV to find her soul mate, Bentley skedaddled after the brokenhearted Bachelorette learned he was only there to promote his business.
3. Real Housewives of New Jersey Baptism Brawl: Nothing like a christening party—in this case, Teresa Giudice's nephew—and an open bar to fuel the fury of the Gorga family. At least this time no tables were victimized.
4. Teen Mom Boob Farrah Buys New Boobs: Claiming that her "C you can see" implants were an investment in her daughter's future, the aspiring model took out a loan to pay for the surgery. She did book a gig—as a hair model—but decided it was too "draining" and "hard being in modeling and being a mom." She's moved on a career in culinary management, where we all know an ample bust is an essential ingredient for success.
5. Evel Dick's Big Brother Vanishing Act: When the season-eight champ suddenly disappeared—only later explained as a "personal emergency"—he took with him half of the house's combined IQ and all of its personality. Until the triumphant return of the Zingbot 3000, that is.
What dumbfounding douchery did we miss? Call 'em out in the comments!