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    Morning Bitch-Back! Has Fame Gone to Robert Pattinson's Head?

    Robert Pattinson O'Neill/White/INFphoto.com

    Dear Ted:
    Would you consider Robert Pattinson relatively unchanged since Twilight began in 2008, or do you think that he's considerably different?
    —WaterGurl

    Dear Biting Into the Biz:
    Well of course he's changed, doll, but it would be impossible for him not to have. Even another franchise superstar Daniel Radcliffe dished that the vampy dude has to endure a helluva lot. And it's definitely made him value what little privacy he can get. But if you're talking ‘tude, he's about the same. Most stars develop their Vices after hitting it big, but not Rob.

    Dear Ted:
    I was wondering: Why did Hildago Van Buren decline his unexpected suitor, especially after checking out the goods? Does he have a steady man waiting for him at home? Also, does our mystery man's B.V. have to do with being in the closet? Or is it about something else?
    —Michelle

    RELATED: Breaking Dawn Photo Bonanza: Peep More Pics of the Honeymoon!

    Dear No Means No:
    It might have to do with the fact that Carson Ampi-Dickorous comes with more baggage than an airport terminal. Or, ya know, that he'll sleep with anything that moves just for the thrill of it. Crotch-covered humping is so hilar, but who knows what kind of critters Carson has creeping in his crotch?

    Dear Ted:
    Lucky
    , my foster pit bull, and I were so disappointed by last week's True Blood! I can handle a little disappointment because at least I got to see Bill and Eric sinking their fangs into delicious Sookie at the same time. But poor Lucky has had two surgeries, two yet to come, and is still struggling to put on weight, so I want to help him feel better. If you gave him one solid clue about Alexander Skarsgård's Blind Vice, it would put a big ol' pit bull grin on his face.
    —Ducky

    Dear Sucker for Suckers:
    C'mon, doll, True Blood wasn't that bad. Hey, at least that whole bizarro baby ordeal is over with and Jessica and Jason got it on. Those are all pluses in my book! But since you sound like such a nice mama to your poor pooch, I'll tell ya this: Alex often likes to take his Vice between two of Madonna's former L.A. homes.

    Dear Ted:
    I was wondering how Sally Pearl-Smythe is doing now. Has she moved on in a healthy way from her ordeal or has it pushed her into a form of self-medication? I only hope the best for her.
    —Janet

    Dear One Day at a Time:
    Yes, as healthy as you can move on from that kinda sad stuff. But I'm happy to report she's doing much better these days. And not just because she's got a smile plastered across her cutesy mug, ‘cause she sports that all the time.

    Dear Ted:
    I saw the video of "the wedding," and in every shot that I saw, the groom looked like a bewildered high school kid. Kim Kardashian, on the other hand, looked like a sophisticated savvy woman. Can this really last? I wish them well after all the hoopla dies down...or will it ever?
    —Pat

    Dear Honeymoon Phase:
    It could. I get what you're saying, P, and I agree that Kris doesn't really seem into the whole H'wood scene (at least not the same way Kim is). But just look at her sis Khloé and bro-in-law Lamar, who've made it work despite naysayers. Those Kardashian broads are determined.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Toothy Tile's family aware of his private life? How far into his social circle are people aware of his real preferences and his child's existence? And what's his romantic fake status currently?
    —PLP

    Dear Tile Phile:
    Trust, Tooth isn't too secretive about his par-tick preferences when you get to know him. It's more the general public he's keeping his biz away from.

    PHOTOS: If Looks Could Kill: Rate Rob Pattinson!

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