Hard as it may be for some of you to believe, there were awards handed out last night that had nothing to do with either Twilight or Harry Potter. And no, that fact in and of itself is not one of our jaw-droppers.
So while the nation continues to retrace the steps that led to Twigate, we'll just ignore the travesty/cause for celebration that was Harry Potter's easy triumph over Twilight at the 2011 Teen Choice Awards (maybe there's something to those dark arts after all), and move instead to the other shockers of the evening.
And there were plenty.
1. Sean Kingston Returns: Who says the Teen Choice Awards lacks heart? After a deservedly hyped introduction by Tyra Banks, Kingston appeared onstage to a standing ovation to hand out the Choice Male Music Artist surfboard to Justin Bieber. But, seeing as how it was his first public appearance since his near-fatal jet ski accident on May 29, he first took time out to acknowledge the moment and thank his fans.
"Thanks, everybody. Not just for the welcome, but for all the love I've felt from so many of you guys for the past few months. Trust me, I will never forget all your thoughts and prayers. God bless."
2. Awkward Reunions Much? First of all, kudos to whomever possesses the sick mind that's responsible for the seating charts (Joe Jonas, is that you?). While the night's big winners Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were sat next to Selena's bestie Taylor Swift , it was the starlet seated on the other side of Taylor that raised our eyebrows: Ashley Greene. Still, whether they swapped stories on their Jonas ex or ignored their connection altogether we'll never know, but we do know that just about everytime the camera panned to them they were deep in giggly girly whisper mode. Now that has to have made Joe—who himself had a run-in with Taylor earlier in the night—sweat a little.
A much less wrought and even more anticipated reunion took place before the show kicked off on the red blue carpet outside. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato had their first public meetup since Lovato's treatment last year, and it was obviously just like old times for the Disney besties, who hugged and posed together. The love continued into the night, when Demi was singing along to Selena's onstage performance.
3. R.Pattz and K.Stew Get the Kiss-Off: OK, we said we wouldn't go there, but is there anybody in possession of a driver's permit that's not still reeling from the losses racked up by Twilight? Granted, it's not such a surprise that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 beat The Twilight Saga: Eclipse for Choice Sci-Fi/Fantasy Movie, or even that Emma Watson triumphed over Kristen Stewart for Actress or that Daniel Radcliffe beat out Robert Pattinson for the Actor nod. What is seriously shocking is that Stewart and Pattinson lost out for the one award we figured would be a lock: Choice Liplock. That one's gonna hurt for a while.
4. Ashton Kutcher Ticks Off Fergie, Leads Sing-a-long: He acts, he models, he saves No. 1 sitcoms from drifting into leading man-obscurity…is there nothing Ashton Kutcher can't do? (Other than impress Fergie, that is, but that's probably down to him beating Josh Duhamel for Choice Movie Actor: Romantic Comedy. Still, you gotta love that reaction.)
Dressed as a bit of a beach bum, the actor accepted his surfboard for the award and quickly engaged the crowd in a sing-a-long of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" (even more surprising is that celebs—some of them—even gamely took part. Well done, Taylor Swift). But not before taking the opportunity to dispense with a little financial wisdom: "Stop screaming. I'm trying to talk serious stuff right now. Don't ever charge anything on a credit card if you don't already have the money in the bank to pay for it." Hey, who invited dad?
5. Sunday, Sunday, Gotta Get Down on Sunday: Rebecca Black was not only in attendance, but won an award. And it was not for Choice Annoying Girl We'd Like to Go Away. It was for Choice Web Star. Enough said.