In these United States of Kardashia, one truth, above all, should be self-evident: The Kardashians are not a family to be trifled with.
Well, guess which opportunistic NFL star didn't get the memo?
Luckily, the ever-blunt Khloé Kardashian Odom exclusively opened up to E! News about the latest scandal to hit the tabloids, and, if we may mix sports metaphors, completely wiped the floor with the footballer at the heart of Kim Kardashian's supposed cheating scandal.
So without further ado, we give you Khloé's take, courtesy of her acid (and awesomely honest) tongue...
"I have…honestly, this guy, it's so funny, I've never heard of him," she told us at Forbes' Celebrity 100 celebration last night. "This person is, I think, crazy."
Well, gee, don't hold back on our account, Khloé! The protective little sis went on to slam New England Patriot Bret Lockett, who ran to the tabloids with a concocted tale claiming to have been involved with Kim during her courtship to new fiancé Kris Humphries—something that Kim has both adamantly and legally denied.
"It's so weird that people these days can just say, like complete strangers, 'Oh my god, he's been seeing her for five months,' and this and that, he's crazy," Khloé said. "I think it's very...it's sad."
Sadder still: "I think he really believes that he's been with her." That's cuckoo, all right.
Meanwhile, Khloé's date for the night, her hubby Lamar Odom, agreed—even though he didn't exactly know of what he spoke. When asked by his wife if he'd heard the tabloid story yet, he replied with a simple, "No."
"It's the best thing about the world today, it makes the world smaller, that everybody has a platform to speak from," he said. "But then it's also the messed up part of the world today."
For her part, Kim is doing her best to clear the world of this nonsense altogether, and has fired off a second cease-and-desist order to Lockett, informing the suddenly famous (funny how that happens) baller that if he doesn't stop it with the lies and defamation—including his latest claims that he has evidence proving a relationship with Kim, she will make good on her initial threat to take him to court.
"To put it very plainly and clearly, and as Mr. Lockett knows, there is not now, and never has been, such a relationship," the new letter from Kim's lawyer Michael Kump reads. "Ms. Kardashian does not know and has never even met Mr. Lockett."
That would be the same Mr. Lockett who by mere coincidence, we're sure, also just so happens to be an aspiring rapper looking to get a leg up on his fledgling career. What curious timing.