Hellmuth Dominguez, PacificCoastNews.com
Howard Stern should just get a couch for David Arquette and call it a day.
The shock jock today once again played shrink to the newly separated actor, who paid a visit to the studio to reveal he was in the midst of a "nervous breakdown" and denied his wife's been getting busy after hours with Cougartown costar Brian Van Holt.
So what else did David tell us today?
Stern, who loves Arquette and has made much fodder of the Arquette-Cox separation, asked if his pal was going through a nervous breakdown.
"Absolutely," said Arquette. When Stern asked him if he was serious, Arquette admitted that he was.
Stern said he adored Arquette but is beginning to get nervous for him after Arquette admitted he's heartbroken and has been drinking a lot lately.
"Your marriage seems to be over and you seem to be freaking out about it," Stern said.
Arquette admitted that he's trying to kick the booze because when he drinks he turns into a "maniac."
Among Arquette's other revelations: (trust us, these are amazing)
- Provocatively dressed women in clubs set him up for pictures and they try to make him look bad by bending over near him and getting him in the shot.
- He lost his voice and is speaking in a hoarse whisper because he's been yelling and screaming a lot lately.
- He recently attended Adam Sandler's Christmas party, where he "embarrassingly" called Tom Cruise "Sean" by accident. He claims Tom didn't care but Arquette got the "eff outta there" fast.
- After spotting a Christmas parade in L.A. while wandering around drunk, he spontaneously hopped on stage to cohost with Leeza Gibbons, and Erik Estrada "handled" it and personally kicked Aqurette out.
- He's been thinking about "breeding" with Drew Barrymore to make Hollywood royalty. "It would be cool to have an Arquette-Barrymore child," he said.
- He hangs out with "little people" at his house and brought one with him to the studio today.
- He "pines" for Courteney once in a while and sent out his holiday gifts and signed the cards ''David, Courteney and Coco.'' "We're still a loving family," he told Stern.
- All he wants in life is to "fall in love again."
And there you have it folks, the highlights from inside Arquette's latest live shrink session. Stern should be getting paid by the hour for this.