One can imagine that there would be many benefits to marrying Johnny Depp (being able to unapologetically follow him around and stare at him all day being benefit No. 1), but according to Depp himself, there's one very deal-breaking downside.
And it's that looming negative that he claims has kept him from popping the question to his baby mama and partner of 12 years, Vanessa Paradis . So what is this fatal flaw?
Funny, Vanessa Depp sounds just fine to us.
And if we were her, we would offer up Katy Perry, Carrie Underwood, Julia Roberts, Hilary Duff, Miranda Kerr, Anna Paquin and half of Hollywood as exhibits A-Z as to why a vow swap doesn't necessarily require a moniker lobotomy, but to each her own.
Besides, the heartthrob doesn't seem too married (ahem) to the idea of maintaining his single status.
"I never found myself needing that piece of paper," he told the show. "Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart. You don't need somebody to say, 'Okay, you're married.'"
But never say never, right?
After all that, Depp admitted that he wouldn't hesitate to stroll down the aisle "if Vanessa wanted to get hitched."
Awww. And if she isn't up for it, we can think of a few (thousand) people who wouldn't mind taking her place.