Ian Somerhalder, Nikki Reed

Frank Micelotta/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Were Ashley Greene and Ian Somerhalder every truly together? After seeing pictures of Nikki Greene and Ian at the Scream Awards it made my day and they would be just such a damn hot couple...but I don't know if Nikki should touch anything that Trashley has had!

Dear Vamp Crossover:
Way harsh on A-babe, don't you think, Mizz? But here's the deal: yes, Ash and Ian were def cozy at one point, but they're both totally over it these days. A.G. is way into her sitch with Joe Jonas, duh. I could see Nikki and Ian working (at least for a while), too. We know those Twilight kiddos don't mind a love triangle. Like, at all.

Dear Ted:
We are both fans of Joe Manganiello. Please tell me your opinion of a film starring Joe and Kristen Stewart. Do you think there would be chemistry between the two? I read that he did security for the band, Goldfinger. Don't you think Joe could play a hot bodyguard for Kristen Stewart?

Dear Casting Coop:
The Bodyguard remake, you mean? Good stuff, babe! If not just hilarious, we know Joe and his washboard abs could definitely play the intimidating bodyguard and K.Stew can do rock star just as good as Joan Jett herself. So, let's make this happen, already.

Dear Ted:
First Rihanna was just planning Katy P.'s hen night, then she's one of her bridesmaids, then she's her maid of honor? I highly doubt she's her maid of honor. Katy has a sister! Any other celeb guests invited to the Perry-Russell Brand wedding? What about Taylor Swift who Katy is "so close" with?

Dear RSVP Swiftly:
Just because you're fam doesn't mean you lock in the top bridal party honor. Anyway, Ri-Ri couldn't make it either way, so a maid of honor was in need. But no, T.Swift was not in the running. She's way too busy these days pimping out her album and possibly getting cozy with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of 17-year-old, raccoon-eyed wild-child Taylor Momsen flashing her boobs on stage recently? When actors (adults) take pictures on a set it's scandalous, when a minor flashes the audience in real life is normal? If you look at Lea Michele and Cory Monteith in real life they don't have wild behavior (drugs, DUI, drinking...).

Dear Not So Little J:
To be fair, she did have tape over her ta-tas. Which I assume she thought made it classy. It's all just so lame, which is why I don't bother running stories on TayMom's antics. They all seem like such desperate cries for attention.

Dear Ted:
Has Cristiano Ronaldo been a Blind Vice? He had public scandals yet you hardly talk about him. What gives? I mean he's hot, talented, got a bit of an attitude but not a single word about my guy crush. Please write a segment about him!

Dear Futball Fiend:
Don't you just think he and all his scandals come off as...a tad icky, d? Sure, the dude can wear the hell out of a pair of undies, but he comes off more greasy than goss-worthy, no? Unless you count the part about him pretending not to know English in bed—when it comes in handy, that is.

Dear Ted:
I was wondering about Justin Long. It feels like he's only famous for being Drew Barrymore's on-again, off-again BF—that can't possibly be stimulating? Any secrets from her past he wouldn't know about?

Dear Longing for Loving:
Don't forget those Mac commercials. Really stand-out work, don't you think?

Dear Ted:
I'm a huge fan of Nicki Minaj, and I get the feeling she's hiding plenty. Anything on her?

Dear Minaj-à-Trois:
Nick isn't exactly hiding anything in her sexually adventurous lyrics, but she loves to keep it a mystery, that's for sure. Love that she's becoming a gay icon in the rap community though and isn't afraid to talk about it!

Dear Ted:
I just went to see The Town and though Blake Lively's acting was quite good something else got my attention, her boobs can't be real right? They're way too big for her figure. Movie magic or doctor magic?

Dear Breast in Show:
They're the real deal, all right. Why do you think she's so proud to show them off...all the time.

Dear Ted:
Love the respectful way you do your job! Quick one for you: Is Shia LaBeouf's B.V. similar to the stuff we're always seeing him get busted for in the papers (drinking, anger management, etc.), or is it way more under wraps? More interesting now because of the potential Carey Mulligan split! Thanks in advance.

Dear Optimus Vice:
Arguably similar, yes, but kept way more under wraps than any late-night visits to Walgreens.

Dear Ted:
I notice that there seem to be different degrees of Vice that you talk about, with some of them being really nasty where lots of people could get hurt by the B.V.'s behavior, while others seem more the self destructive kind that are more sad than evil. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, where would you put the Supernatural guys? I like them a lot, and I'd hate to think they were total jerks, so I hope the number is small.
—Jayne Jayne

Dear Strange Range:
I'm confused on what exactly your scale is, so I'll say a six? Or a four? They're not (overly) hurting anyone, really, if that's what you're worried about, J.J. They're more or less nice dudes.

Dear Ted:
Regarding my recent point on gay bullying, I think you're missing the point. We need to focus on bullying, not gay bullying. You really think gay kids are bullied more than anyone else? More than fat kids? Come on! All you're doing is making gays out to be weak, like they can't take it. It's not like gay suicide is an epidemic, it just makes headlines. As I said, I know two teens who killed themselves, and one was because of the bullying she was getting after having sex with a black guy. Suicide is a problem, and it begins with self-esteem, which is why we need to support a strong family dynamic (and I don't mean one that doesn't include gay parents). Kids who bully most likely have no discipline at home and they are not taught how to behave by their parents. Kids who kill themselves think their lives aren't worth living and need support at home. It's a problem, but not a gay one. But since you're gay, I can see why you're sensitive about it.

Dear Look Who Wrote a 5-Billion Word Letter:
Not sure I'm the sensitive one here, babe. But yes, let's just agree to end all bullying, OK?

Dear Ted:
I am confused. What's wrong with Reese Witherspoon? I thought she was just a nice girl with a couple of kids?

Dear Spoon Fed:
How dare you underestimate R.W. like that! Tho, to be fair, that's exactly what she wants.

Dear Ted:
Why did you call Gwyneth "Fishsticks" Paltrow back in the day? Is it because, all along, you knew that one day she'd start her own food and "wellness living" blog that would be universally mocked? What a genius you are, Ted!

Dear The Poop on GOOP:
As I told Gwyneth's equally famous publicist, Stephen Huvane, when he finally called me about it one day. The reason I came up with Fishstick (no s, darling) years ago was because Gwyneth always left me "a little cold, and she's so thin, hence, the fishstick comment." I have since met Ms. Paltrow and changed my mind. But since that website fiasco, I dare say I'm about to resurrect her moniker. I'll leave it up to you readers whether or not I do.

Dear Ted;
Can you confirm if Toothy has a new beard?

Dear Tile Phile:

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share