What a week. We said so long to some famous folks, including an uproarious roaster, a legendary Hollywood stud, a maverick filmmaker and the guy who invented The A-Team.
We also saw some upheaval in Reality-TV Land, as Deadliest Catch was struck by the departure of three star captains, Gordon Ramsay suffered his own kitchen nightmare and Dancing With the Stars devolved into a catfight.
So without further adieu, here's our week in review...
FAREWELLS: Greg Giraldo, TV personality, Comedy Central roastmeister, Howard Stern Show favorite and beloved by fellow comics, died at 44, four days after accidentally overdosing on prescription meds…Arthur Penn, visionary director of Bonnie and Clyde and Little Big Man, was 88…Gloria Stuart, golden-era actress who played Kate Winslet's elderly counterpart in Titanic, was 100…Tony Curtis, movie icon and father of Jamie Lee Curtis, died at 85 from cardiac arrest...Stephen J. Cannell, producer behind such TV hits as The A-Team, 21 Jump Street and The Rockford Files, died due to complications associated with melanoma. He was 69.
WE'RE WITH YOU: Our E! News pal Giuliana Rancic and husband Bill revealed on The View Friday that they have suffered a miscarriage. Giuliana also opened up on E! News, to thank fans for their support and sharing their stories.
IN TREATMENT: Lindsay Lohan visited L.A.'s Dream Center to meet with at-risk youth before returning to rehab, but it remains to be seen whether the fourth time is going to be the charm. Come what may, at least her role as Linda Lovelace is safe.
ROCKING THE BOAT: After being sued by Discovery Channel for $3 million, Deadliest Catch stars and commercial crab fishermen Andy and Jonathan Hillstrand announced they were leaving the series. In a show of solidarity, Northwestern Capt. Sig Hansen has jumped ship, too, after six seasons.
PROBED: The polygamous Brown family from TLC's Sister Wives is under investigation for bigamy in Utah. Patriarch Kody Brown says he knew his family was taking a risk by allowing themselves to go basic-cable public, so... What was it? The money? Big Love envy?
GATES OF HELL: Boo-Gate. Bolton-Gate. It was an exciting week on Dancing With the Stars after the audience's vocal disapproval of Jennifer Grey's perfectly decent score coincided with the presence of Sarah Palin in the ballroom and, on the same night, Bruno Tonioli did his job and—for shame!—told Michael Bolton that his jive sucked. Conveniently, ABC had footage of the judges getting booed for Grey's 24, an angle TV audiences aren't usually privy to. And DWTS' producers get major points for defending Bruno's right to critique accordingly. (Meanwhile, The Situation actually skipped a Vegas party to practice!)
KITCHEN NIGHTMARE: Joe Cerniglia, a restaurant owner featured on the first season of Hell's Kitchen, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge. Gordon Ramsay, in passing, called Joe a "brilliant chef" whom he was "fortunate" to work with…Top Chef judge Eric Ripert thinks Ramsay should reconsider his signature bluster.
WEDDING BELLS: Khloé Kardashian Odom and hubby Lamar relived the magic by renewing their vows on their first anniversary…Emily Deschanel swapped vows with It's Always Sunny stooge David Hornsby…Johnny Knoxville tied the knot (hopefully his testicles weren't involved) with Naomi Nelson.
DAWSON ON DIAPER DUTY: James Van Der Beek and wife Kimberly Brook welcome daughter Olivia.
Splits Raising Sextuplets parents divide in half…George Lopez parts ways with kidney-donating wife Ann…Heather Locklear officially divorces Sambora name…Eddie Cibrian is now officially free to be with LeAnn Rimes.
COURTHOUSE: Two fewer charges for Howard K. Stern…U.S. Supreme Court agrees to review Anna Nicole Smith's inheritance issues…Jeffrey Jones cops to failing to keep up with his sex-offender registration…Pete Doherty charged with cocaine possession…Kid Cudi cops to drug possession…Paris Hilton settles "hot" lawsuit.
Investigation Alaskan authorities are making a big deal out of Bristol Palin being in a bar…Paparazzo at the center of Paris Hilton hit-and-run incident calls it "a freak accident"...R&B star Mario arrested for attacking his own mother.
FILM SCHOOL: Trouble in Hobbitville…More young-adult novel hotness in the I Am Number Four trailer…Star Wars sextet going 3-D…Josh Holloway signs on for good-guy duty in Mission: Impossible 4, while fellow Lostie Maggie Grace joins the Denali in Breaking Dawn…Jeff Bridges gives an eyepatch a spin in the True Grit trailer…Paranormal Activity 2 just gets creepier and creepier.
TV LAND: Brad Womack gets another go-round as The Bachelor…Fox's Lone Star is the fall season's first casualty…No Max Weinberg when Conan premieres…Criminal Minds says bye-bye to J.J….Rachel Zoe's right-hand man Brad Goreski leaves to become his own man…The Big Bang Theory's Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki secretly dated for two years, proving the show's stars aren't as smart as they look…Real Housewife Teresa Giudice's hubby Joe released from jail…Real Housewives planning to take Miami?...Australian Top Model's big blunder and the reason behind it…SNL accused of dipping into the Adult Swim pool…Katy Perry goes from Sesame Street to Springfield, where surely her boobs will be appreciated…SPOILER ZONE
MUSICAL NOTES: Justin Bieber's "U Smile" video premiered exclusively on E!...Wyclef Jean briefly hospitalized for exhaustion…America's Got Talent winner Michael Grimm signs with Epic Records…Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominations go to Alice Cooper, Bon Jovie, the Beastie Boys and—call your mom!—Neil Diamond…Fantasia Barrino announces Back to Me tour…Joe Jonas working on a solo album.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Dolce & Gabbana retouches Madonna, probably not for the very first time…Justin Bieber is such a doll, er, action figure…Jason Schwartzman gets in bed with the New Yorker's iPad app…After 13 years of strutting her lingerie-clad stuff, Heidi Klum hangs up her Victoria's Secret halo.
WORSE FOR WEAR: Mariah Carey's stilettos landed her in a wheelchair when she twisted her ankle in Singapore…Just kidding, her dog is having puppies!
SEEN: Artie Lange doing stand-up at the Comedy Cellar in Greenwich Village, his first time performing since attempting suicide…Jennifer Garner avoiding cocktails at the Pink Party at Drai's in Hollywood…Brad Pitt and Zahara shopping at the Grove in L.A.…Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in bed. Thanks for that.